Funny Shayari in Hindi

Funny SMS Shayari in Hindi 
Mana pyar hamara kacha hai,
Par dil to hamara saccha hai,
Aksar to guftagu hoti nahi,
Chalo new year ka bahana hi accha hai !


I am sorry, ek buri khabar hai
Mujhe bhul jana plz me bas do din me tumhe hamesha –hamesha ke liye chod jauga,

Tumhara

2010
Comedy Hindi Shayari 
Pyaar main jo kabhi pakde jaao…..
Pyaar main jo kabhi pakde jaao…..
Der na karo,foran bhai bahan ban jaao….

Ek haseena per nigaahe thahri thi,
uski aankhe jheel se bhi gahri thi,
Thak gaya main use I love u kahte kahte,
phir pata chala yaar wo to bahri thi


Chandni raat thi,
nadi ka kinara tha,
Asman me taro ka nazara tha,
premi ne
pyar se
hole se
muskarate hue
premika se kaha.
"Darling.
BIDEE PIOGEE ?


Jis Bus Me Baithi Ho Hashinaye
Us Bus Ke Sise Chitak Hi Jate He
Driver Chahe Jitni Tez Chalaye Bus
Diwane to Fir Bhi Latak Hi Jate He..!


Kyo har mausam ki tarah badal jate ho,
kyo har roj mera dil dukhate ho ,
meri ruh tak kaap jati hai yah sunkar ,
ke,tum BARTAN MANJANE ke SABUN se nahate ho.


2Hijade ek shadi ki badhai dene gaye.
Haye-Haye main to 1100 lungi.
Dusri boli main to 2100 lungi.
Piche se santa bola abey 2310 le lo usme FM bhi hai....


N,A,M,A,S,K,A,A,R
Zinda ho to 1 SMS bhejo,
Asmaan me chale gaye ho to barish bhejo,
Swarg me ho to Apsara bhejo,
Agar narak me ho to,
Enjoy urself.

Aashiyane hum nahi sajate,
Baagon me phool hum nhi ugaate,
Hamari ek pasand se tut jaynge hzaro DIL,
Isiliye to hum koi ? "GIRLFRIEND" ? nahi banate.
Hilarious Hindi Shayari 
Aap kis gum me bethe ho,
Mera ek kaam kar do na,
Meri julfo ko lehra kar,
Ju nikal do na !

Is sadgi par kaun na mar jaye ye khuda,
Ladti hai, par hath me belan bhi nahi hai !

Gf is beauty, wife is duty,
Gf is lovely, wife is pagli,
Gf is wisky, wife is risky,
Gf is rani, wife is paresani,
Gf is mango fruty, wife is kismet footy !

I Like U
I Like U
I Like U
I Like U Very Much
Believe Me
I Really Like U
Kyonki GEETA me likha hai :-"PAAP SE NAFRAT KARO PAAPI SE NAHI"


Subh SMS Sham SMS Din Me SMS Rat Me SMS Ghr Me SMS Ofice Me SMS Jeena SMS Mrna SMS Akhir Kya Hein Ye SMS?
S=Sab Ko
M=Mohabbat Se
S=Satao
ye hein sms

Kya hua jo kar li shadi,
Hamm bhi ab to sehra sajayenge.
Mujhe pata tha wo mere naseeb main nahi hai,
Ab uski chotti bahen ko fasayenge.



Yaad aati hai teri jaagte-sote,
Din katte hain teri khatir rote-rote,
Kaash!tum mere saath yahan hote,
Kam se kam mere kuch kapde to dhote.

Ye sulagta jism,
ye kanpkapate honth,
ye thartharata badan,
ye ladkhadati aawaz,…..
mujhe pahle ho pata tha,tujhe malaria hua hai
SMS Shayari in Hindi 
Roshni dekar dub jana koi suraj se sikhe,
Dil dekar dard lena koi hum se sikhe,
Kuch na dekar dil lena koi unse sikhe,
Sms padke Reply na dena koi aapse sikhe..!!


Har samandar me sahil nahi hota,
Har jahaj me misail nahi hota,
Agar dherubhai ka sapna nahi hota,
To tere jeso ke pass mobile nahi hota!!



Aadmi mandir kyu jata hai….?
Kyu ki waha :- aarti hai, pooja hai,bhavana hai, archana hai,
Bhakti hai, vandana hai, aaradna hai, sadhna hai,
Upasna hai Or ye sab dil ko bahut sukun deti he..!!


Tumhari life me
1 aisi ladki ayegi
jo sirf tumhari hogi
tum use behad pyar karoge
tum use kiss karoge
or
wo pass aa kar kahegi
I
Love
You…
Mummy….!!



SMS karenge hum ek duje ko bari bari,
Hame Lagti hai yeh rasm badi pyari,
Yeh sms milte hi ek sms bhej dena,
kyunki hame bilkul pasand nahi 'Udhari...

Duniya gol hai!!proof chahiye?
Cockroch chuhe se darta hai,chuha billi se,
billi kutte se,kutta admi se,
admi apni GIRLFRND se,
aur GIRLFRND cockroch se.


Ghar usne kya banaya Masjid k samne,
Chahat ne Uski hume namazi bana diya


Sweet socho,
Smart socho,
Accha socho,
Saccha socho,
Pyara socho
i know its
difficult,So i have a shortcut
sirf hamare bare me socho.
SMS Sher o Shayari in Hindi 
Ikhtiyarre tabbasum ki lau ko
Tarranume numayish se aghaa dena….
Jab is ka matlab samajh aa jaye
Plz mujhe bhi bata dena!!

Dost karo collage wali se..
Pyar karo office wali se..
Programme karo pados wali se..
Ankh ladao Sali se..
Love karo dilwali se…
Aur maar khao gharwali se….!!

Tumko dekha to ye khyal aaya…!!
Tumko dekha to ye khyal aaya…!
Pagalo ke stock me ek naya maal aaya…!

Teri baap ki shaadi hui teri maa se,
Teri maa ki shaadi hui tere baap se,
Yeh bhi koi baat hui yaar,
Ghar hi ghar me shaadi ho gayi…!

Laila ko majnu ka sms nahi aaya,
Laila na teen din khana nahi khaya,
Laila mar rahi thi, majnu ke pyar me,
Majnu baitha tha Sms free hone ke intezar me…!

Aasman humse naraz hai,
Taro ka ghussa behisaab hai,
Wo sab jalte hai kyuki…
Chand se behtar chiz hamare pass hai….!

Bhul se koi bhul hui to use bhul samajh ke bhul jana,
Aur bhulna sirf bhul ko kahi bhulkar hame bhul na jana!!


Hale dil kuch is tarh hamara hai,
Yaad tumhe din me 100 baar kiya karte hai,
Jo na aaye ek din bhi sms tumhara,
Purane sms hi pad liya karte hai….!
Hindi Funny Shayari SMS 
Kudrat ne jab tumhe banaya hoga,
To bas confusion ka mahol chaya hoga,
Banana hoga gadha ya Bandar
Fir dono ka combination pasand aaya hoga!!

Dared dil me gum ki kaliya khilti hai,
Ab to tanhai aksar hum se milti hai,
Aap ne band kiya jab se sms karna,
Mobile ki battery jyada chalti hai!

Tum pass aaye ….
U muskuraye…
Apne 32 daat tumne dikhaye…
Dekh ke mera dil foot-foot ke rota hai,
Tum se brash bhi thik se hota hai!!

Jo aasani se mile wo hai gum,
Jo muskil se mile wo hai rum,
Jo kisi kisi se mile wo hai dum,
Jo naseeb walo ko mile wo hai hum!!


Lamha –lamha waqt gujar jayega,
Chand lamho me exam aa jayega,
Abhi bhi waqt hai do line pad lo,
Warna pass kya tumhara sasur karvayega!!

Zindagi me tum bahut aage jaoge,
Kyunki tum jaha bhi jaoge,
Log kahege…….chal chal aage ja.

Exam start hote hi rone ka sama hota hai,
Aise mausam me hi to dimag ka dahi hota hai,
Paper me kuch likh nahi pate,
Ye fasana to marksheet me bayan hota hai!!


Aahat si koi aye to lagta hai ki tum ho,
Hawa chale to lagta hai tum ho,
Ab tum hi batao,
Kya tum kisi BHOOT se kam ho!!
Hindi Funny Sher o Shayari 
Ab kamre ki ek-ek ciz check karta hu,
Ek tere aane se pehle aur ek tere jane ke baad.

Wo to aaj bhi hum ko dekh kar muskurate hai,
Wo to aaj bhi hum ko dekh kar muskurate hai,
Lekin unke kambakhat bache hame mamu-mamu bulate hai!!

Din me karoge to sust rahoge , raat me karo ge to chust raho ge,
Roj karo ge to khush raho ge, din raat karo ge to tadrust rahoge!!
Sms yaar!!!

Baat bahut khas mere sath ho gayi,
Kar diya humne ijhare ishq mobile se,
Lakh rupaye ki baat 40 paise me ho gayi!!

Shama ro-ro ke parwane se keh rahi thi,
Shama ro-ro ke parwane se keh rahi thi,
Mujhe rumaal la do, meri naak beh rahi hai!!


Aam pake, angoor pake, mithe ho gaye khajur,
Ek rupaye ki chinta mat karna sms karna jarur!!

Aapki baat he har gali me,
Har ladki ke dil me aapke liye pyar hai,
Ye koi chamtkar nahi he,
Samaye hi kuch aisa hai aaj rakhi jo hai!!

Kiski majal he jo chede diler ko,
Kiski majal he jo chede diler ko,
Gardish me gher lete hai kutte bhi sher ko!!


Na tum chat par aati, Na me deewana hota,
Na tum chat par aati, Na me deewana hota,
Na tum pathar marte , Na me kana hota,
Duniya me bewafao ki kami nahi hai…...


Ab suraj ko hi dekh lo,
Aata hai usha ke sath,
Rehta hai kiran ke sath,
Jata hai sandhya ke sath,
Aur sota hai nisha ke sath!!



Hum gujare unki gali se ajab itefaq tha,
Hum gujare unki gali se ajab itefaq tha,
Unhone feka hum par phool,
Lekin gamla bhi sath tha!!


Collage ki char diwari me ajib sa khel hota hai!
Khel-khel me do dilo ka mail hota hai!
Isliye har saal pappu fail hota hai!!

Ye chand bhi kya julm dhata hai,
Bachpan me MAMA aur jawani me SANAM nazar aata hai!!

Har gali phulo se saza rakhi hai,
Har darwaje par ek ladki bitha rakhi hai,
Na jane kis darwaje se aao ge tum,
Isliye har ladki ko ek rakhi thama rakhi hai!!

Is kadar hum aap ko chahte hai,
Ki duniya wale dekh ke jal jate hai,
U to hum sabhi ko ullu banate hai,
Lekin aap thoda jaldi banjate hai!!
Funny Sher o Shayari in Hindi 
Bethe bethe kamre me kar rahi thi press!
Bethe bethe kamre me kar rahi thi press!
Tei yaad aai to jal gayi dress!!
Ji chahta hai hai ki tere najuk hoto ko chum lu,
Ji chahta hai hai ki tere najuk hoto ko chum lu,
Magar tumhari behti hui naak ne irada badal diya!!

Itni raat gaye kyu apni kabra khod raha he galib!
Itni raat gaye kyu apni kabra khod raha he galib!
La faavada mujhe de de!!

Jab kans ko malum tha ki devki ki aathvi santan use maregi,
To use vasudev aur devki ko ek kothri me band kiya hi kyu..?


Jab dekha unhone tirchi nazaro se,
To hum madhosh ho gaye,
Jab pata chala ki unki nazare hi tirchi hai
To hum behosh ho gaye!!

Tum mere dil me aise samai ho,
Tum mere dil me aise samai ho,
Jese bajare ke khet me bhes ghus aai ho!!


Mere marne ke baad jab janaza mera,Uski gali se nikla,
Mere marne ke baad jab janaza mera,Uski gali se nikla,
Wo khidki pe aai aur boli, ye saala bhi tapak gaya!!

Dhoti ne kaha pajama se,
Hum dono bane hai dhage se,
Fark hai to itna ki,
Me khulti hu piche se, aur tu aage se !!



Mere marne ke baad mere dosto aansu nahi bahana,
Mere marne ke baad mere dosto aansu nahi bahana,
Agar yaad meri aaye to sidhe upar hi chale aana!!

Yadi koi aap se kahe ki wo apne dil gehrai se tumse pyar karta hai,
To iska matlab uske dil me upar dusri ladki ke liye jagah book hai!!


Sms kare ge hum ek dusre ko bari-bari,
Hame lagti hai ye rasam badi pyari,
Ye sms milte hi ek sms bhej dena,
Kyu ki hame bilkul pasand nahi udhari!!
Funny Shayari 
Jeewan bima wale bhi,
Kitni besarmi se pes aate hai,
Pati ki mout se kya fayde hoge,
Ghanto beth ke uski patni ko samjhate hai.

Wo jab chalti hai to raho me 100-100 ke note bicha deta hu!
Wo jab chalti hai to raho me 100-100 ke note bicha deta hu!
Uske jane ke baad sab wapas utha leta hu!

O burai ke rasgule,
Paap ki barfi,
Bewafai ke ladu,
Matlabi gulabjamun,
Dhokebaaz jalebi,
Jhut ki namak pari!
Tu bahut sweet hai re….!


Shaadiya vailin ki tarha hoti hai….
Madhur sangeet khatam hone ke baad taar aapas me ulajh jate hai.

Humne bhi pyar kiya tha,Zindagi me bade zor se,
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha,Zindagi me bade sor se,
Ab hum pyar kare ge bade jor ke sath,
Kyu ki use kal shaam ko dekha kisi aur ke sath.

Khud ko kar buland itna ki,
Himalay ki choti par ja pahuche,
Aur khuda khud tumse puche,
Ab bata utre ga kese.


Bahu ka pehla aur dusra affaire sun kar,
Sasur na bahu ko mara,
Tisra aur chotha sun kar pati ne mara,
Saas kuch bhi nahi boli…..kyu?
Kyuki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!!

Nahi karti thi pyar,
To mujh ko bataya hota!
Bula ke park me u dhoke se,
Apne bhaiyo se to na pitvaya hota!

Tu chand mange me chand de du,
Tu raat mange me raat de du,
Tu dil mange me dil de du,
Tu jaan mange………
Bas kar kya departmental store samajh rakha hai kya?

Paper ke char din pehle syllabus dekha to gana aaya,
Kuch to hua hai kuch ho gaya hai,
Paper ke din paper dekh man tadpaya,
Sab kuch alag hai sab kuch naya hai.


Tum ko dekha to ye khayal aaya,
Tum ko dekha to ye khayal aaya,
Tumhari saheli ko dekha to dusra khyal aaya.
Funny Shayari in Hindi 
Teri lovely ankho ne mujhepe aisa effect kiya,
Sabko reject kar maine tumko select kiya.

Maine pucha chand se
Dekha hai kahi mere yaar sa hasi,
Chand ne kaha- abe gadhe itni upar se dikhta hai kya?


Bharat sarkar ne naya niyam lagu kiya hai,
Khoobsurat logo ko desh se bahar nikala jayega,
Tum to safe ho yaar, main kaha jauga.


Kuware logo ki routine –
Somvar ko dosti,
Mangalvar ko pyar,
Budhwar ko shaadi,
Guruvar ko barbadi,
Sukravar ko ladai,
Sanivar ko talak,
Ravivar ko rest,
Aur somvar ko Next.


Me agle mahine shaadi kar raha hu,
Ek choti si party rakhi hai, tum jarur aana aur
Koi gift mat lana !
Bas kisi ko mujhse shaadi karne ke kiye leti aana.

Me sawan hu tum badal ho,
Me normal hut um pagal ho,
Me pani hu tum taki ho,
Me tarjan hu tum manky ho.

Jab tumne tham li hai mere jiwan ki door,
Jab tumne tham li hai mere jiwan ki door,
Fir kyu mange ye dil more, ye dil mange mor.

Aaj wo hum se jannat me takra gaye,
Aaj wo hum se jannat me takra gaye,
Aur hamare muh se awaz nikali,
Fate muh…. Tusi ithe bhi aa gaye.


Jab tum udas ho jao to to,
Aaine ke samne jakar jor se kaho me bahut aakarsak hu,
Aisa bar-bar kaho, is se tum apne dukh par control kar loge,
Par ise apni aadat mat banne dena, kyu ki jhuthe log narak me jate hai.
Funny Hindi Shayari 
Par pyar bhara dil tod diya,
Kuch peso ke khatir,
Tum ne sms karma chod diya.

Ye kaun sa jaam tum ne hum ko pila diya,
Ye kaun sa jaam tum ne hum ko pila diya,
Is sarfire ka sara system hila diya.

Aapka har message mere rom-rom me gudgudi peda kar deta hai,
Mera dil jor se dhadkta hai,
Kasoor aapka nahi hai,
Ye mobile hi vibration par hota hai.


Jab jab ghire badal, teri yaad aai,
Jhum ke jab bhi barsa badal, teri yaad aai,
Bhiga me, fir aur bhi teri yaad aai,
Ab nahi raha jata, chatri lota de mere

Ek tum ho jo itne ache ho,
Ek tum ho jo itne pyare ho,
ek tum ho jo itne sundar ho,
ek tum ho jo chand-sitare ho,
aur ek hum hai jo jhut pe jhut bole ja rahe hai.

Khuda kare tera mobile kho jaye,
Mile mujhe aur mera ho jaye,
Karu sms ladkiyo ko, naam tera aaye,
Mar tujhe pade aur kaleja mera thanda ho jaye



Zindagi me tin chiz kabhi bhi aa sakti hai,
Pesa…………mout…………
Aur ……….mera Sms.!!

Kehte hai ishq me need ud jati hai,
Koi humse bhi ishq kare kambkhat hame need bahut aati hai.


Kali se phool banne me kitna waqt lagta hai,
Lehro ko kinare se milne me kitna waqt lagta hai,
Mobile hai to kar do na sms,
Sms karne me kitna waqt lagta hai.

Botal chupa do kafan me mere,
Kabristan me piya karuga,
Jab mange ga hisab khuda,
To peg bana kar diya karu ga.

Hindi Marriage and Pati Patni Jokes

Funny husband Wife Hindi Joke 
Patni:-sharab peen eke baad kya tumhe mera naam bhi yaad nahin rehta?
Pati:-pee lene ke baad to main har gam bhool jata hoon,meri jaan.

Nai nai car chalana sikhi biwi:aaj hum car se jaenge aur car main chalaungi.
Pati:-kon nahin,jaenge car main aur aaenge akhbaar main.

Pati patni College Joke 
     Patni – Collage ke bare me tumhara koi bura anubhav hai?
    Pati – Han, Tumhari aur meri paheli mulakat college me he to hui thi.

Pati patni Sms Joke 
Patni:- main tumse jo kuch bhi kahti hu tum ek kaan se sunkar doosre se nikaal dete ho.
Pati:-aur main tumse kuch bhi kahta hu to tum dono kaan se sunkar muh se nikaal deti ho.

Funny Pati patni Joke 
Pati:-main jeevan main aaj jo kuch bhi bana hoon,apne aap bana hoon.
Patni:-lo, main aaj tak bekar hi bhagwaan ko kosti rahi.

Pati patni Sms 
Patni:-kyon jab main moti hojaaungi,tab bhi tum mujhe aise hi pyaar karoge?
Pati:-bilkul nahin, maine sirf such dukh main saath dene ka vaada kiya tha.

Pati Patni Joke 
patni : suno ji, bus me aapko logo neitna kyon mara?
pati : Are mera ek photo bus main ek aurt ke pair ke niche gir gaya tha aur mene kaha
madam zara saree uper kijiye photo lena hai….
Hindi Joke about Husband Wife 
Pati:-aaj main sabha pati banunga.
Patni:-khabardaar jo aap mere alawa kisi aur ke pati bane.

Pati patni Hindi Joke 
pati: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan kahin chhupa kar rakh do, padosi aa rahe hain.
patni: Kyonji ! kya Aapke dost chura lenge?
pati: are Nahin, who apna saaman pehchaan lenge.

Hindi Husband Wife Joke 
patni: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
pati: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho.
patni: Main to maa banne wali hoon!
pati: Main bhi to baap banne wala hoon

Cute wife joke 
     patni: “Aapne pichle saal salgireh pe mujhe lohay ka bed diya tha, Iss baar aapka kya iraada hai?”
pati: “Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.”

Funny husband Wife Sms 
Patni: -suno ji,aapko mujhme kya achcha lagta hai. meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.
pati: -mujhe to tumhari ye mazak karne ki aadat bahot pasand hai.

Funny Cute wife sms Joke 
Pati :- main tumhare saath kuch bhi share kar sakta hu.
Patni:-chalo phir bank account se start karte hain.

Funny Wife Sms 
Pati:-mere mrne ke baad tumhe mere jaisa doosra aadmi nahin milega.
Patni:- tumhe kisne keh diya, ki main doosra aadmi tumhare jaisa chahti hoon.

Husbands joke on marriage 
Patni:- main tumhare bina mar jaaungi.
Pati:-main bhi mar jaaunga. Itni khushi main bardasht nahin kar paaunga.

Funny relationship Hindi Joke 
Patni:- main tumhare bina mar jaaungi.
Pati:-main bhi mar jaaunga. Itni khushi main bardasht nahin kar paaunga.

Husband wife joke 
Pati:-mani abhi saree ka fanda banakar faansi laga loonga.
Patni:-kya gajab karte ho,nai saree hai.

Funny teasing joke 
Pati:-jab bhi main is talwaar ko dekhta hoon to mujhe ladai per jaane ka mann karta hai.
Patni:-to phir jaate kyon nahin?
Pati:-phir unki tooti hui taang yaad aa jaati hai.

Husband wife joke in Hindi 
Husband wife ki godi me leta hua tha,
Wife – kesa lag raha he ji?
Husband- jese visnu bhagwan shesnaag ki god me lete ho.

Pati Patni Hindi Joke 
Ek makeup sacheton lady ne mritu kaal par uski pati se daka.
Pati:bolo tumhara antim issa keya hai?
Patni:mere marne ke bad meri sundar tasbir akhbar pe chapne par mere age math  likhna.
Pati:kiun?
Patni:kiun ki log ye jan jayega ke meine budhi ho gaya tha.
Marriage Joke Hindi 
Husband:  Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein pagal ho jaaunga.

Wife: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey na ?

Husband:  Pagal ka kya hai, o kuch bhi kar sakta hai
Cat and Wife Joke 
Santa banta  Se Puchha Ki-Tum agli  Janam Me Kya Ban’na chaho gi?

banta-” A Billi”
Why?

Because  Meri Wife Sirf billi Se Hi Darti Hai
Marriage Joke in Hindi 
kya larki thi...
Shohar: Kal mere khuab main ek larki aai thi,
Wah! kya larki thi.

Bibi: Akeli he aai hogi?

Shohar: Tumko kese pata:

Bibi: Uska husband mere khuab main
tha.
Marriage Joke 
Pyar b ajab shay he

Maa se payar hota hai to Ebadat
Baap se payar hota hai  to Muqadas
Bhai se payar hota hai  to Aqidat
Didi  se payar hota hai ho to Farz
&
Wife  se payar  hota hai  to
sab kehte hen k SALA BIWI ka GHULAM H     hain
Husband and Wife 
Wife:  Ma bachunga nahi  Marr jaongi...

Husband   : Mein bhi Marr jaon ga!

Wife :  Mein to Bimaar hoon isleya marr jaungi  tum kyon maro gaey ?

Husband :  Mein itni Khushi Bardasht nahi kar sakta !
Marriage 
Beta papa ko pucha: papa sadi kana ma kitna  kharch hota hai
Papa na bola : mujee pata nahi hay beta !
May abibhi  uska lia pay karta hoo .

Hindi Marriage Joke 
Shaadi karne ki baad aur shaadi karne ki aage

1. tumhare baat kokil ki tarah hai.
dhat,kan ki kach me ghanor ghanor nahi karna

2. biswas karo, meine tumko bina nahi reh parunga.
har baat me tum tumhari bap ki baari jane ke baat nahi karna, jao na tumko koun rokha hai?

3. tumko liee maine hajar saal bachna parunga.
uff, tumhare sansar mein mere jiban ekbare biss ho gaya.
 
Aapko dhund raha hai

4. future ki baat soch kar ek  moment par aap crore paysa kharcha kar sakti hai.
Aapko dhund raha hai Political dall ne(Aapko election par khare karne ke liee).

5. onle ek abul biri ke liee aap ek aadmi ki hatma kar sakti hai.
Aapko dhund raha hai RAB(dunia ki narak dekhne ke liee).

6. aapki do haat mein kharach karna paroge?
Aapko dhund raha hai ladkione.

7. keyaa aap ek palak par jo vi opokarm karna parte hai?
Aapko dhund raha hai Police force.
Hindi Husband and Wife Marriage Joke 
Bibi:kyeaa hua tumko aj bohot khus najar a raha hai?
Pappu:nahi kuch nahi. Tum bahar ja rahe ho iss lyee
Bibi: uss lyee tumhare khus hone se kyeaa irada hai.
Pappu: meri ek dawat hai meine vi uha jaunga. Tum agar bahar jaoge tab maine bahar jane parunga na!!!
Funny Wife Joke 
Bibi:jiban par maine koi punno kia tha us liee tumhare tarah pati mila.
Swami:aur mere liee wo paap ki sasti hai
Hilarious Husband and Wife 
Pati:kaha ja rahe ho?

Patni: Jahannam par.

Pati: Thank you,jao.
Funny Pati and Patni 
Pati:mehman ko khana dia magar chamach kiu nahi dia?

Patni:voi paa karke.

Pati:kasko voi pa kar.

Patni:usko chamach hai ye jodi samajh jayee iss lyee.
Funny Hindi Pati Patni Joke 
Patni:tumhare paas koi arman pesh kar gaya to tum bola paysa nahi hai.

Pati:keyaa nahi di tumko? To jo tumko dena parega uski paas jao na.
Pati Patni Joke 
Patni:meine Babaki ghar mein kitni sukhi tha,tumare ghar a kar meri jiban ses ho gaya.

Pati: keyaa hua?

Patni:keyaa nahi hua? Tumhre pas meine ek diamond ki neckless chaha magar tumhare iss month par pocket khali…
Funny Husband and Wife Marriage Joke 
Ek din ek busstand me vul kar yatri log gaitlok samajh kar
Local gari me uth gaya, gari to rukh rukh kar jata hay
Yatri:keya hua bhai gari to rukh rukh kar jata hay kiu?
Helper: yeh to local hai..
Yatri: local aur gatelock yeh to tum log dega us lie yatri log samassa mein parega kiun?
Funny Joke in Hindi 
Swami: basar rat mein uski wife ko 100 rs. De kar sorry bola, mujhe bhul ho gaye, sab samay deta hu to habit ho gaya.
Patni: tum to mujhko rupee de rahe ho, mein to mere cousin ko free dia.
Hindi Husband and Wife Joke 
Husband ek rat kagaj mein likh kar rakha 7 am par mujhe jara dak dena
Wife woh dekh kar likha: already 7am. Baj gaya.

Hindi Pyar Shayari

Hindi Pyar Shayari 
Ek baar fir jaga de teri awaz ka jaadu,
Kurban tum per jaan aapni hasti mita du.


Na sharab ki botal ho tum na beer ki pyali ho,
Karti ho ash kis bangale me us sahib ki gharwali ho.

Har kali ka chahiye ek bhaware ka pyar,
Tum kali ho yesi jiske lokh melege yaar.

Kiss dekar ke aata hai kisko manana,
Gulam banker rahta hai sara zamana.


Ek pal ke liye baho me aakar ke sharmai,
Jab quad se chute to pasine se nahai.

Mohbbat yase dhadkan hai sunai nahi jati,
Aakho me basi surat chhupai nahi jati.


Na sawaro zulfe bikhar jane do jara,
Hassen raat ko sawar jane do jara.

Sawar kar aayegi vo jis din mere kareeb,
Assma chu lege usi din se mere naseeb.

Pagal ban jate ho kiss lene ke baad,
Hadh se gujar jate ho is baat ke baad.

Kiss se shuru hui thi meri aaapse yaari,
Aaj tak utri nahi hai uski khumaari.

Sharmake ho gayi vo tamatar ki tarha lal,
Salha diye jab humne uske hule se gore gaal.


Ab raaj na raha raaj tera college me jana,
Is sahar me chal raha hai tera hi afsaana.

Dekha karta tha jise dulhan ke roop me,
Nazar aaj aati vahi nagin ke roop me.


Kachhe dhage ki aoot lekar jo karte hai yaari,
Iskq chupaye nahi hai lakh karo hoshiyaari.

Sapane me lab se jab nikalta hai tera naam,
Mummy fir kar deti hai mera jeena haram.

Kurban lakho aapki is banki chalk e,
Kadmo pe rakh du tere kaleja nikal ke.

Zulfo jab dil me aakar bas jati hai,
Raat nagin banker das jati hai.


Dil ka hoon shanshah tum meri mumtaaz ho,
Tajmahal hoon mein tera tum meri sartaj ho.

Nazar se nazr mili mulakat kar li,
Khamosh rahe hote hi baat kar li.

Quad me karti hai vo kiss se patakar,
Pagal banati baad me nazaro ke hatakar.

Hota hai jab kabhi bhi picture me aandhera,
Mera haath tere haath per karta hai bashera.
Pyar SMS Shayari 
Bekaar baat na kar waqt barbad na kar,
Gir gaye jo nazaro se uako tu yaad na kar.

Koi khushiyo ke kiye koi gam ke mare pite hai,
Ek hum hai jo teri yaado ke sahare jeete hai.

Aaj kali ho to kal phool banker shaan hogi,
Barjhi banker jawa dilo ki jaan logi.

Nahi rahega jis din tera aur kisi se vasta,
Tere liye fir jayegi meri dil me aastha.


Raat unki zulfo me basera ho gaya,
Yesi need aai ki sabera ho gaya.

Kaam aate na kabhi vade hi kiya karte hai,
Jeene wale inhi vado pe jiya karte hai.


Haath na badana kabhi rasgulla jaankar,
Gharwale mana kar dege surat phechan kar.

Keise pata chalega kisi ko is baat ka,
Ikaant me hai ashbaag ki mulakat ka.


Vada kiya tha meine tumse ek raat ka,
Muka aata hi dugi waqt mulakat ka.

Gujari usne raat baato me bahlakar,
Subhah mana liya galo ko sahlakar.

Paas rahkar bhi jo humse dur thi,
Kya kare halaat se majboor thi.


Chaand roshan hota hai sitaro se jayada.
Iskq vo ladati hai kuwaro se jayada.

Jab bhi milogi tum dil ko saaf kar lege,
Pyara sa kiss lekar maaf kar dege.


Aa gaya hoon mein usse bazaar tarka do,
Parde ke piche aakar ke jara jalwa dekha do.

Chaand sa chehra tera bhule se na bholege hum,
Tu na sahi tasvir teri pyar se chu lege hum.

Zulfe uljhi hai jiski diwanan banana ke liye,
Vo kaam leti hai logo ko ulloo banana ke liye.

Jalwa dekha kar chup gaye aapne makan me,
Bekhabar bethe rahe hum bahar dukhan me.

Dil se lagao aakar tadhapao na hume,
Na rah sakege dur yu satao na hume.
Hindi Love SMS Shayari 
Rat lagi rahi hai kya picture dekhane ki,
Har taraf karti hai piccha nazare jamane ki.

Unki uljhi hui zulfo ka jab aata hai khayal
Tadapta hai dil mera jaan ka banker babal.

Chhat per khadi hokar shukha rahi thi vo baal,
Tham gaye sab rahagir kisi ko na raha khayal.

Koi unke aagosh me mitti neend sota hai,
Koi yaado ke jakham kar rota hai.


Jawani ke nashe me bahut chur ho tum,
Badi jalim ho badi magroor ho tum.

Haath me kangaan pag me payal aur kano me bali,
Pagal mujhko bana gayi hai reshami zulfe tumhari.

Meri chahat me asar ho yah jaroori to nahi,
Kisi ko meri khabar ho yah jaroori nahi.


Itna sa kaam kijiye kar raham mere haal per,
Ek nakali til laga lijiye apne gore gaal per.


Vo haseena nagin hai per dasana nahi aata,
Dil me kisi bhi shaq ke basna nahi aata.

Is kadar na gusse pe tu hum pe baras,
Gussa hum ko bhi aata hai per kata hoon tars.

Kuch khabar bhi hai root ke jane wale,
Bin bulaye chale aate hai chahane wale.

Jab vo masum nigaho ko jhuka lete hai,
Banke aanjan vo har baat ko chupa lete hai.

Tadap raha hoon mein muddat se ek jalak ke liye,
Aasiyaan roshan kar mera ek palak ke liye.

Nakab-e-hasn uthate hi machal jate hai diwaan,
Husn ki aach lagte hi pighal jate hai parvane.

Ab na jana tum kahi payal ki jhankar bankar,
Rah jayegi do zindagi andakaar bankar.

Jo kuch karna hai tumko aapne saher me kiya karo,
Kante chubte dil me mere itna rahat to kiya karo.
Hindi Love and Romance Shayari SMS 
Accha nahi lagta tumko baar baar yah kehna,
Bahut katin hai itne dino tak dor aapse rehana.

Dour kai imtehaan kea aye utra sab me khara,
Fir bhi teri nazaro me kyu mein rah gaya gujra.

Accha hua jo aap humko jaldi hi phechan gaye,
Koi baat nahi chalo aapse hum hi haar maan gaye.


Theka liya hai kya rutane ka mujhse aapne,
Kaise manaye Jaanu tumko mummy ke samne.


Dil ki baate kare akele man halka ho jayega,
Shak ke badal chat jayege pyar ka phool khel jayega.


Kese dilau aapko mere pyar ki shahdat,
Ek tum hi ho jiski sada karta hoon ibadat.


Sharmo haya ki surkhi hai phool se gulabi galo me,
Chahat bhari padhi hai in sharbati aakho ke pyalo me.

Mujhko tumhare dard ka ahsaas hai magar,
Kya haal hai yah pooch bhi sakte nahi jigar.

Kya hua sikha jo tumne nazare milana,
Bura nahi hai kisi pyaase ko paani pilana.


Jalne wale jala kare duniya ka kaam hai jalana,
Aao hum to pyar kare kahi bitna jaye ye pal.

Udaasi bhare din jaanu kabhi to dhalege,
Dilo ke chaman me phool kabhi to khelege.

Pyar me kya luft hai dil wale jante hai,
Jalne me kya maaza hai parwane jaante hai.

Milan humara jab hoga hum sapno me kho jayege,
Zulfo ke saye me hum tum thakkar ke so jayege.

Sapano ke sakar mahal me dil ke Deepak jale,
Bahut dino se bichade premi aakhir mile gale.


Jawaani naam se ho bekhata ilzaam hoti hai,
Nek nazar bhi is umr me badnaam hoti hai.

Sahar chodkar tera chala jauga mein kahi,
Yaha per teri yaadein picha chodati nahi.

Kyu hickicha rahi ho lab to jara hilao,
Nazaro se do nimantadan gulsan mera khilayo.
Love Shayari Hindi SMS 
Ilzaam jabse lagaye hai tumne mere sir per,
Roka hai un kadmo ko jo aate the tere dar per.

Milne ki chahat dil me mere bhi kam nahi hai,
Aa jaye bhula rusvaiya yese hum bhi nahi hai.

Khat bheja hai aapko chupakar kitaab me,
Bechain rahega dil mera iske jabab mein.

Shuru kiya hai jab se khato ne aana jana,
Har kooche me chalne laga aapna hi afsaana.

Bheja nahi aapne mere khat ka jabab,
Khata kya hue meri bata dete janab.

Khat tumhara padti hoon mein ghar mein raat ko,
Rok nahi paati hoon tat tarate haatho ko.


Ya rab meri aaho me asar kyu nahi hota,
Aapna samjhta hoon vo aapna kyu nahi hota.

Roothkar humse gaye tum kisi aur ki baho mein,
Raha ab dekhna baki asar kitna hai aaho mein.

Kya haal hai janab ka poocha jo unse pyar mein,
Humne kaha gujaarti hai raat intazaar mein.

Rootha hua kyu aajkal mera dildaar hai,
Uske bina kisse kahu jeena mera dusvaar hai.

Sawan me jaise bijali chamak jaati hai,
Kidhki se vo itni hi jzlak dikhati hai.

Kisko sunne jaye hum dil ke afsaane,
Baato ka rukh mudate vo banke aanjane.

Sawan ki boodo ko pakar dharti hui hariyali,
Do naino ki pyaas mita de resam si zulfo wali.

Gunhah kya yesa maine aapka sarkar kar diya,
Phele lagaya dil fir inkaar kar diya.

Har raat sapno mein tumse baat hoti hai,
Tum na sahi tasvir tumhari saath hoti hai.


Humne aapni zindagi ab naam tumhare kar di,
Tumne jabab dene mein kyu itni der kar di.

Paas tumhare aane se dill eta hai aangadhai,
Berukhi dildaar ki dil mein deti hai rusvai.

Haazaro yaar hote hai shama ki mehfil ke,
Ghar ke chirag rehate hai hamsha ek dil ke.
Hindi Shayari SMS Messages 
Jab milte hai hum roz paani bharne ke bahane,
aane kyu lage aap ghar duniya ko jatane.

Chhat per khadi hokar phool seene se lagana,
samjuga bagiya me hai milne ka tikaana.

Saamna nazaro ka hota hai garden kyu zuk jati hai,
kapane lagta badan chaal kyu ruk jati hai.

Meine likhwa liya hai tera naam aapne haatho per,
ab nahi hai dar sanam mujhko kisi bhi baat per.

Station per hue thi unse phehli mulakat,
aaj tak bhi yaad hai pyar bhara vo saath.


Khat ka jabab bhejna bablu ke haath,
khena use tab de mujhe jab na ho koi saath.

Mohbbat karne wale ke saath me takdir rahti hai,
kaleje se lagakar yaar ki tasveer rahti hai.

Teer aakho se jigar ke paar ho gaye,
tum humari jaanu hum jaanisaar ho gaye.

Iskq karne wale karte hai karamaat,
Lakh bithaye pahare duniya karte hai mulakaat.

Yaad teri dil se na jaye to kya karo,
Rah rah kar paani aakho me aaye to kya karu.

Khat tumne bheja tha hume jalane ko,
Hum bhi aa na sake tumhe manane ko.
Romantic Hindi Shayaris 
Zindagi ka har pal sukh de aapko,
Din ka har Lamha Khushi de aapko,
Jahan gum ki hawa chu ke bhi na gujare,
Khuda woh zindagi de Aapko.

Darte hai aag se kahin jal na jaye
darte hai khwab say kahin toot na jaye
lekin in sab baate se jayada darte hai
kay aap hame kahin bhool na jaye.


Ek din hamare aansu hamse pooch baithe!
Hamain roz-roz kyon bulaate ho?
Hamne kaha hum yaad to unhe karte hain tum kyon chale aate ho?

Uska ilzaam hai ki who lagatar taakta hai mujhe
Lekin ye to bata ki pata kaise chala tujhe


Tere gulabi galo per har koi hai fida,
Kitne ko tum karogi har bar alvida.

Ek baar akar kahti har bar maan jata,
Agar bol leti mohse yehsaan maan jata.

Bahut udaas hoon main aakar ke haasa lo,
dil ke kisi kone me mujhko baasa lo.


Hoto me sahad bhara hai dil mein bhara hai zahar,
jo fhasat inke chakar me dhati hai vo kahar.

Khilti hai kaliyo ki tarha jab aata hai shanivaar,
jane kab gujar jata hai pyar bhara ravivaar.

Zindagi me aai bahare kadam mehkne lage,
jab se hua hai pyar kadam bahekne lage.

Pyaasi hai zindagani pyaasa hai mera tan,
milne ki tumse dil me jab se lagi lagan.

Kisi se pyar karne ka maaza jab khoob aata hai,
bhul kar sare jahah ko use mahboob chahata hai.


Na na baba na baba tere pass kabhi na aaugi,
Aisa lagta hai baho ke bandan me mar jaugi.

Pyar karne walo ko kya rok sakegi seema,
daulat lootakar pate hai yah zahar hai deema.

Dard dil chehre se chupaya nahi jata,
rog yesa hai ki bataya nahi jata.

Jab talak daulat tu us per lutata jayega,
jab talak us bevafa ka pyar pata jayega.

Bikharti hai zulfe jab vo mukhde per,
kali ghata gher jati hai chaand ke tukade per
Love Hindi Shayari 
Kal tum judaa hui thi jaya saath chood kar,
Hum aaj tak khade hai usi dil ke mod per.

Khoobsurati ka nakab liye bhathe hai,
Sayad kisi ka intaazar kiye bhathe hai.

Jab se aap mere dil mein samayi hai,
Zindagi bahar ban muskurai hai.

Unki yaado ke Deepak jab kabhi jal jate hai
Hum khayalo mein bahut dur nikal jate hai.

Haseen yaado ki shaama mujhe jalane do,
Pyar ke mujaaye phoolo ko khilne do.


Koi pooche hum na batayege yese to halat nahi,
Tuta hai deil bechara aur koi baat nahi.

Haq diya hai tumne mujhko aapna pyar pane ka,
Muka bhi to diya karo us pyar ko jatane ka.

Banana wale ne bhi kya khoob tumhe banaya hai,
Roop ka sara khazana tum per lutaya hai.


Waqt ka kab tak karuga intazaar,
Aa tujhe gale lagalu ek baar.

Tumhare bina kate katti nahi hai rate,
Khayalo mein ghoomti hai teri pyar bhari bate.


Apki tasveer ko hum seene se lagaye rakhte hai
Is tarha judaai ka har gham mita lete hai
kisi tarha aap ka zikr hojaye
to apni bheegi palkoun ko jhuka lete hain
Romantic Hindi Shayari 
Ek lamhe main unhone zindgi sanwar di,
Ek lamhe main unhone zindgi ujaad di,
Kusoor unka nahin hamara tha jo,
Un do lamhon main hamne zindgi guzaar di.


Ab vo phele wali baat nahi,
Chand to hai taro ki baraat nahi.

Yaad karne se to vapas vo aa nahi sakta,
Umr ka lamha bhi to bhualaya nahi sakta.


Uff bethe bithaye kya rog laga behte,
Ek aada ke badle Imaan gava behthe.

Chain milta nahi jara din ko,
Tum se milkar ye kya hua dil ko.

Aakho se aakhe mila kar dekhiye,
Aap humko aajma kar dekhiye.

Kabhi ulfat kabhi nafrat ka bharam hota hai,
Dile nadan per ab yah karam hota hai


Khilte phoolo se tumhari hassi,
Kitni lagti hai pyari tumhari hassi.

Dard dil ki dava ab nahi chahiye,
Pyar ki dua ab nahi chahiye.


Na tu aata hai na paigaam aata hai,
Teri yaad ka bhavar subhah sham aata hai.
Shayari SMS 
Dil jalakar mera muskurate hain wo,
apni aadat se kab baaz aate hain wo,
pooch lete hain har raaz mujhse mera,
apne har baat mujhse chhupate hain who.
Shayari 
Aazab hal hai iskq mein apne dil ka,
Na tum mante ho na vo mante hai.
Hindi Love Shayari 
Kisi ke dil ki haqiqat kisi ko kya malum,
Uthai humne musibat kisi ko kya malum.
Love Shayari 
Ab tak koi chehra mujhe bhoola hi nahi hai,
Is sahar se rista mera choota hi nahi hai.
Romantic Shayari 
Pee liya karte hai jeene ki tammna mein kabhi,
Dagmagana bhi jaroori hai sabalne ke liye.
Romantic Shayari in Hindi 
Ab yah jana ki ise khate hai aana dil ka,
Hum haasi khel samjhte the lagana dil ka.
Love shayari in Hindi 
Tum ho ya tumhara saya hai jo mere saag chala aaya hai,
Khawaab hai ya haqiqat hai kya samjhu dil samjh na paya hai.
Shayari SMS 
Teri aakho mein dekhi hai pyar ki chaahat humne,
Zuba se ikraar kar lo to yakeen ho jaye.
Romantic Shayari SMS 
Jab bhi dekhta hoon usko sab kucj bhool jata hoon,
Doob kar aakho mein uski zulfo mein ko jata hoon mein.
Romantic Hindi Shayari SMS 
Khuda ki dekho yah kaise hai kudrat,
Unko dekhe hue ho gayi ek muddat.
Romantic Hindi Shayari 
Idar unko yaad kiya udhar vo samne aa gaye,
Dekhte hi dekhte dil per humare chaa gaye.

Romantic Hindi Shayari

Hindi Shayari 
Chand ki chandani,
Basant ki bahar.
Phoolo ki khushbu,
Apno ka pyar.
Mubarak ho aapko Navratri ka 'TYOHAR' JAI MATA DI

Romantic Hindi Shayari 
Kuch Rishte Anjane Me Ban Jate He
Pehle Dil Se Fir Zindgi Se Jud Jate He
Kehte Hai Us Daur Ko Dosti
Jisme Anjane Na Jane Kab Apne Ban Jate hai.


Hum apne aap per gurur nahi karte,
kisi ko kuch bhi karne per majboor nahi karte,
magar jisne ek bar apna kah diya hame,
marte dum tk use dil se door nhI krte.Gn

Romantic Hindi Shayari 
Chale aao hum AAPKO Yaad karte H,
ye wo gunah h JO hum bar-bar karte He,
jala k DIL ME hasrato k Chirag App ka,
or aapke msg ka intezar krte hai.
Romantic Hindi Shayari 
Khuda jaane ye husn waale chashma kyon lagate hain,
Inhone kiya hai kya aisa jo ye aankhe churate hain.

Aankho main bhar loge to kante se chubhenge,
Ye ashk to palkon per sajane ke liye hain.


Agar ho waqt to ek mulakat kijiyega,
Dil kuch kahena chahe to kuch bbat kijiyega,
Yu to muskil he fursat nikalna,
Par 1 lamha miljaye to hame yaad kijiyega…!!

Sath chutne se rishte nahi tuta karte,
Waqt ki dundh se lamhe nahi tuta karte,
Log kehte hai mera sapna tut gaya,
Tutati need hai sapne nahi tuta karte…!!

Dard hota nahi duniya ko batane ke liye,
Har koi rota nahi ansu bahane ke liye,
Ruthne ka maja to tab hai,
Jab koi apna ho manane ke liye…..!!!!

Aap par kurban meri yaari hai,
Haskar mar jau iski bhi taiyari hai,
Ye silsila na khatam ho apni yari ka,
Kyu ki maine aap ko yaad kiya hai,
Ab aap ki bari hai,,,!!

Sabse accha mera yaar hai,
Uski har shayri me kitna pyar hai,
Agar na aaye uska sms ek bhi din,
To uska mobile rakhna hi bekaar hai….!

Yaar tum bhi ajeeb ho,
Mere dil ke kitne kareeb ho,
Na milte ho, na sms karte ho,
Kya tum mujhse bhi jyada garib ho..!!

Muskaan aap ke phone se milti hai,
Dilo ko rahat aapke miss call se milti hai,
Ye silsila bandh mat hone dena,
Kyu ki ye dhadkan aapke sms se chalti hai.!

Kashti behti hai kinare ki talash me,
Log milte hai pyaar ki aas me,
Hum roz milte nahi aapse ,
Magar kuch waqt jarur bitate hai,
Aap ki yaad me!
Love Quotes in Hindi 
Apni ZINDAGI se kuch pal dedo muje.
Aaj na sahi apna KAL dedo muje.
KHUSHI do ya na do MARJI tumhari.
Apke kisi GOOD LOOKING FRIEND ka Number dedo mujhe....

Ek Lamha Jo Satata Hai,
Na Jane Ye DiL Kya Chahta Hai,
Kash Aap Hote Humare Nazaron Ke Samne,
Par Na Jane Kyu Ye Kash!
Kash Hi Reh Jata...

Zindagi aapko kabhi hasaati hogi,
kabhi @ rulati hogi,
yaad kar ta hai har pal
koi aa pko is raftaar bhri@ zindagi me
ek hichki to roz aati hogi,



Tham lena mera hath,
kabhi piche jo chhut jau.
Mana lena mujhe jo tumse kabi ruth jau,
Mana mai nasamjh hu,
par wo tara hu jo aapki har arzu k liye tut jau.


Aansu tumhare ho aankhe meri ho,
Dil tumhara ho dhadkan meri ho,
Khuda kare hum dono ka pyar aisa hi ho…!!


Tanhai me muskurana ishq hai,
Ek baat ko sab se chuppana ishq hai,
U to need nahi aati hai raat ko,
U to need se jaag jana ishq hai…..!!

Yaad Hum Bhi Aapko Karte Hai,
Yaad Aap Bhi Hame Karte Hai,
Fark Itna Hai Hum Yaad Ane Par Sms Karte Hai
Aur Aap Sms Ane Par Yaad Karte Hai...
Romance, Love and Pyar 
Har pal me pyar hai, har lamhe me khushi hai,
Kho do to yade, jee lo to zindagi !


Bujh chukka hai tumhare husn ka hukka,
Wo to hum jo gudgudaye jate hai !

Duriyo kin a parvah kijiye,
Jab dil pukare bula lijiye,
Hum jyada dur nahi aap se,
Bus apni aankho ko palko se mila lijiye!


Hoti nahi mohabbat surat se,
Mohabbat to dil se hoti hai,
Surat unki khud hi pyari lagti hai,
Kadr jinki dil me hoti hai !

Hum tere pyar me ye yaar waha tak pahuche,
Jaha ye bhool gaye hum, ki kaha tak pahuche !

Teri muskan hamari kamjori,
Keh na pana hamari majboori,
Tum kyu nahi samajhte hamari khamoshi ko,
Kya khamoshi ko juba dena jaruri hai ?


Tumhari is ada ka kya jawab du,
Ankho ko tumhari kya hasai khwab du,
Koi accha sa phool hota to mali se magwata,
Jo khud gulab hai, use kya gulab du !


Koi he jo duaa karata he,
apno me hame bhi gina karta he,
bahut khushnasib samajhte he khud ko hum,
jab door rehkar bhi koi hame yaad kiya karta he



Ye khuda aaj nazaro ko kuch aisa dikha de,
Jaha dekhu bas vahi dikhai de,
Kash aisi meharbaniya ho jaye aaj hawa me,
Ki usko pukaru aur sirf usko sunaide…!!


mohabbat kisi se is tarah nibha lo.
Ki uske dil ke sare gum chura lo.
Itna asar chhod do kisi pe chhahat ka,
Ki upparwala bhi aakar bole mujhe apna bana Lo.


Rulana Har Kisi Ko Aata Hai,
Hasana Kisi Kisi Ko Aata Hai,
Rula Ke Jo Manale Wo Sachcha Yaar Hai,
Aur Jo Rula Ke Khud Bhi Aansu Bahaye Wo Aapka Pyaar Hai..
Love and Pyar Shayari in Hindi 
Tujko jis roz se dekha usi din se deewana hu,
Kum se kum aajmakar to dekh,
Main haqiqat hu ya afsana…!!

Jawab teri shyari ke, denge hum shayari se,
Naam tera likh baithe hai, apne dil ki diary mein…!

Kastiya unhi ki dubti hai, jinke imaan dagmagate hai,
Jinke dil me neki hoti hai, wo hardam jhumte gaate hai…!


Yaado me chahe na rakho hame,
Maan me hum bas jayege,
Tamana ho agar milne ki to hath rakhna dil par,
“DHADKAN” me hum mil jaye ge…!

Wo dil hi kya jo milne ki dua na kare,
Tujhe bhool kar jiya khuda na kare,
Rahegi hamari dosti zindagi bhar tak,
Ye baat aur hai ki zindagi wafa kare ya na kare


Din me chand sitare ache nahi lagte,
Ab duniya ke nazare acche nahi lagte,
Koi aap ke papa mummy se kahe de,
Ki ab aap kuware acche nahi lagte…!!

Wo chand hai magar aap se pyaara nahi,
Shama ke bin parwane ka gujara nahi,
Is dil ne suni ek pyari si aawaz,
Kahi aap ne hame pukara to nahi……!


Aap ke aane se zindagi kitni khoobsurat hai,
Dil me basi aap ki hi surat hai,
Door jaana nahi hamse,
hume har kadam par aap ki jarurat hai.!


Wo rishta kya jisko nibhana pade,
Wo pyar kya jisko jata na pade,
Pyar to ek khamosh ehsas hai,
Wo ehsaas kya jisko lafzo main batana pade!

Ishq hi karma agar, nada tujhe manjur hai,
Ishq kar us noor se, jis noor ka ye noor hai !


Mohabbat ki shama jala ke to dekho,(romantic)
Zara dil ki duniya saja ke to dekho,
Tumhe ho na jaye mohabbat to kehna,
Zara humse nazare mila ke to dekho
Love and Romantic Shayaris in Hindi 
Mein tere didaar ka talabgaar hoon,
Gujri hui baharo ka yaadgaar hoon.

Phele 100 baar idar udar dekha,
Jab tujhe dark e ek nazar dekha.

Pesh kar chand sher tumko dur se karta salam,
Pad lena is guldaste me mere dil ke sabhi pegaam.


Asar kya hai mohbaat ka kaho to mein dekha du,
Na aata ho iskq karna to mein tumko sikha du.


Unhe shak hai ki hum unpe marte hai,
Hame shak hai ki wo hum pe marte hai,
Zindagi ke dor yuhi gujarte hai,
Na wo kuch puchte hai, na hum kuch kehte hai….!!

Muskurake mila karo humse,
Kuch kaha kuch suna karo humse,
Baat karne se hi baat badti hai janaab,
Isliye roj baat kiya karo humse….!!

Tumhari yaado ki mehak in hawao me hai,
Pyar hi pyar bikhara in fizao me hai,
Aisa na ho ki duriya dard ban jaye,
Ab to aa jao ki intezar nigaho me hai….!!


Hame apne dil me basaye rakhna,
Hamari yaado ke chirag jalaye rakhna,
Bahut lamba hai safar zindagi ka,
Ek hissa hame bhi banaye rakhna…!


Aankho ke ishare samajh nahi pate,
Hotho se dil ki baat keh nahi paate,
Apni bebasi hum kis tarah kahe,
Koi he jiske bina hum reh nahi paate…!!

Wo meri muskurahat par nisar ho gaye,
Hum bhi to unke liye bekarar ho gaye,
Humne to kar liya pyaar unse,
Who kisi aur ka pyar ho gaye…!!

Chand taro ka noor aap par bares,
Har koi aap ki chahat ko tarse,
Aap ki zindagi me aaye itni khushiya,
Ki aap gum pane ko tarse…!
Romantic Shayari in Hindi 
Phele to usne sharab aakho se pila di,
Nazare milai humne to fir usne jhuka di.

Aai Milan ki ghadi phool khilne ki ghadi,
Iskq ke chakkar me baccho ki fikr kisko padi.

Dekhi na suni is kadar betabi kisi bhai me,
Nazar aati hai to bas aati hai aashiyaani me.


Vo nahi jab ghar per tumko kaise tharaugi,
Raat rukege dil ke devta ruthe to kaise manaugi.

Betaab hoon kai din se machal raha hai dil,
De waqt is dildar ko aakar gale se mil.

Chhat per khadi hokar ke zulfe sawarna,
Accha nahi hai har kisi ka dil bigadana.

Mohbbat khul ke kar ghabaraya nahi karte,
Baho ke bandan me aake sharmaye nahi karte.

Barsat ki raat ho aur aakho me khumari ho,
Gungrale balo wali baho me humari ho.

Baat karne ka kabhi mauka to dijiye,
Samne milte hai magar ruka to kijiye.


Dil me tumhe pane ki hasrat lagae beithe hai,
Us dil ke intazaar me palke bichai beithe hai.


Saturday Sunday ko tum khili si lagti ho,
Koun kahe baccho ki maa ho abhi kuwari lagti ho.

Lo aa gayi mein mehdi rachake dono haath,
Ji chahe jaha le chal chalugi tere saath.


Aadao me bijaliya nazar me suroor hai,
Bahak gaya dil mera to kya kasoor hai.

Khuda ne tumko hasi itna banaya na hota,
Kasam khuda ki mera dil tum per aaya na hota.


Kudrat ne kya khub diya hai tumko roop,
Tere roop kea age fika lagta sab sansaar.

Jaane anjaane me mene maang tumhari bhar di hai,
Jeevan ki har sham meine naam tumhare kar di hai.

Intazaar jab apni hadh se gujar jata hai,
Kajal aakho ka bahkar bahar aata hai.

Funny Hindi Jokes

Hindi Joke 
Ek chor amir lok ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. Trunk pe likha tha “Trunk ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 156 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao, trunk khul jayegi. Jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi.”
Jate jate chor us lok se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!
Kanjoos Joke 
Babu market jata hai underwear kharid karne.
Babu: Yeh kitne ka hai?
Dokandar: Rs 600.
Kanjoos Babu: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi.
Funny Hindi Joke 
Rubel gora tha. Jab uska ladka paida hua toh woh kala tha.
Tab Rubel apne patni ke paas jata hai aur pucha hai, “Yaar main bhi gora tha tum bhi gori thi to bachcha kaise kala paida ho gaya?”
Aur pher uski bibi ne jawab diya, Darling mein vi Hot tum vi hot sayad “Bachcha Jal gaya hoga.”
Funny Joke 
Parul (naukrani) ne Parul se kaha, memsahab gajab ho gaya, pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai.
Parul Naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chup chap tamasha dekhne lagi.
Naukarani ne pucha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi?
Parul: Nahi uske liye teen hi kafi hai.
Shaadi Joke 
Shadi ke bad dusre din Parul apni dady se: Meri unse ladai ho gayie!
Dady: Shadi mein jhagde toh hote rehte hai fikar mat karo.
Parul: Woh toh thik hai par ab “LAASH” ka kya karu
Dumb and Dumber Joke 
Rubel: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Liton: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Rubel: Kya naam hai uska?
Liton: Wo Bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA”
Baap Beta Joke 
Bap: a beta jara bol to kis boys cricket team captan larki?
Beta: a kase hoga larka team main captan larki?? A nehi ho sakta.
Bap: abe hain . jara soch ke bata.
Beta: mujhe to bakwas lagta he.
Bap: Srilanka ki us team ki captan “Mahila Joyabardhana”
Very Dumb Joke in Hindi 
Rubel bara dukhi tha!
Ek dost ne us se pucha, “Kiu, tension mein ho?”
Rubel: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 2 lakh Rupeey diye thay, ab saale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon!
Dumb Joke in Hindi 
Rubel Kaun Banega Crorepati Main:
Question: What is you father name?
Rubel: Plz Options?
a. Dilawar
b. Changez
c. Feroz
d. Sultan
Rubel: Life line-50/50
a. Dilawar
c. Feroze
Pathan: Audience Vote.
75% Dilawar
25% Feroze
Rubel: I want to use My last life line “Phone a friend.”
Kisse call karengy?
Rubel: Apne baap dilawar ko!
Cinema Hall Joke 
Cinema hall Me Liton Ke Bagal Me Baithi 2 Aurate Lagatar Apas Me Baate Kiye Ja Rahi Thi. Thodi Der Tak To Liton Sabra Kiye Baitha Raha Lekin Fir Junjalaa Kar Bola- “Maaf Kijiyega, Mujhe Apki Baatchit Ke Chalte Film ka Koi Dialogue Sunaai Nahi Pad Raha Hai. Aap…..”
“To Hum bhi Kaha Aap ko suna Rahe Hai, Hamari Private Batchit chal Rahi Hai.”
Unme Se Anita Ne Munh Banaate Huye Kaha.
Funny Sports Joke in Hindi 
Keya bolti hai tu,tu to iss para ka sera striker hai.
:nahi, maine iss elaka ki sabse baaje goalkeeper hu.
Hindi Joke 
Suna hai tum club se daak paya ho?
: ha, thik suna.
:tumhara naam par kitni goal likha hai?
Beta Baba Joke 
Diary par beta ki number dekh kar Baba hotash tha,iss tarah number pane ekhi tarika hai belt se marna.
-baba tum thik bola,besi karke pitna parega. Iss tarah number dene ka ye ek tarika hai.
Funny Joke 
Ek admi police se bola kuch der pehle mera watch,mobile hijack ho gaya.
-app chillay kiun nahi help ke lyee.
-kiun ki, agar meine chillay to wo meri sona ki daat dekh leta.
Crazy Joke in Hindi 
Matlab saab aap yeh age par aur ek santan kiun leta hai?
chup karo, member ki vi 11 ladka hai mere vi 11, ek ijjat ki bapar hai.
Short Hindi Joke 
Maine khal katne par kumir anna chahta hu kiun?
Kiun ki bidesh par kumir ki bohot dam hai.
Dumb Hindi Joke 
Agar admi ki paa nahi hota tha to keya hota tha.
Gari par break nahi hota tha.
Silly Hindi Joke 
Nakshatra ki alo kiun mit mit kar jalta hai?
Voltage ki karan par,uha voltage kam hai.
Girl Boy Hindi Joke 
:ladke se pehle ladkio ki saadi ho jata hai kiun?
:kiun ki ladki log ladke se pehle hai.
Two Men Funny Hindi Joke 
1st person: mosquito ne hamari rakt khata hai magar neta log kya khata hai?
2nd person:neta log mosquito marne ke lyee paysa mar khata hai.
Funny Pappu Joke 
Do log baat karti hai samaj ki halchal ki bare me,
:hamari jiban ki value kaya hai?
:aaj kal 100 Rs. Mein vi khuni paoa jata hai,so hamari value hai 100 Rs.
Two Men Hindi Joke 
Do log baat karti hai samaj ki halchal ki bare me,
:hamari jiban ki value kaya hai?
:aaj kal 100 Rs. Mein vi khuni paoa jata hai,so hamari value hai 100 Rs.
Baap Beta Joke 
Bap: hamari protiva kiun chupa rehta hai?
Beta:kiun ki sabne protivaban nahi ho jay is lyee.
Rickshawala Hindi Joke 
Ek rickshawala bohot khata hai us lyee usko petuk kehta hai magar “Sher e Bangla” vi bohot khata tha magar usko hum kehta hai “Vojon Roshik”.

Hindi Joke 
Maramari karke kapre cirne ke par din:
:ki vai,kiun daur raha ho?
:meri daurne par vi tu khota deta hai,rokh aj vi tera shirt chir dunga.
Pappu Joke Hindi 
Ek admi ne pappu se ask kya ke usne nahane ke waqt kaun se dik se mukh rakh kar suru karega
Pappu:tumhare kapra se suru karo.
Jail Joke in Hindi 
Two friend gossips
1 Friend said :  yaar Jail ko “Hawalaat” kyu kehte hy..?
.
.

2 Friend said:   Kyu k jail me khane ma  sirf
“Hawa” ur “Laat” hi milti hy-----      haahaahaa

Ladka Ladki Hindi Jokes

Comedy Hindi Joke 
Ladki ki baba: to tum meri jamai hona chahte ho?

Ladka: thik aysa nahi hai. Ye chara meri aur koi rasta nahi tha,iss lyee.
Funny and Hilarious Hindi Joke 
Ladka:maine tumhare boyfriend banna chahta hu,tumhara koi apatti hai?

Ladki:are keyaa bolti ho. Tum to bohot funny ho.iss liee tum mere bohot assa friend ho. Mere boyfriend Sakib ye sunega to bohot moja payega.
Hindi Joke 
Ladka:Taka ne Taka anti hai aur paysa keyaa anti hai?

Ladki:Taka ki vangti.
Hindi Joke 
Ladka:Taka ne Taka anti hai aur paysa keyaa anti hai?

Ladki:Taka ki vangti.
Teasing Joke 
Ladka:meine tumko chand ke saath tulna nahi karunga.

Ladki:kiun?

Ladka:kiun ki usme chand ki kalank aur vi bar jayata hai.
Office Joke in Hindi 
Ladka: aaj tumhare mann itni khush hai keyaa baat hai? Statistic office pe gayaa tha keya?

Ladki: aur tel marne ki jarurat nahi hai. Jao parlar ki bill bhar ke aao.
Joke 
Ladki ke bap:Nargis tum laut aao,tumhare maa bahut bemar hai.

Ladke ki pati:Nargis tum kabhi nahi laut aana,tumko le ane par baba ki ye chal hai.
Exam Joke 
Ladka:meine basa ja kar jara dhayanse parata hu, mere kach aapki beti parega to wo A+ paega

Ladki ki baap: meri beti ko tum parane ke badle tum payar sikhaya us liee wo aajvi S.S.C pass nahi kar paya

Ladka:wo to uski galti hai,maine to payar se paraya…
Short Joke in Hindi 
Ladki:humko aankh duto na ho kar ek ho to keyaa hota tha?

Ladka: Shanti se aankh marna jata tha.
Hilarious Joke 
Ladka:agar tum chaho to meine chand se hamari bari bangaonge

Ladki:sorry, admi bina kisi patang par meri koi interest nahi hai.
Funny Guru Jokes 
Ladka: wo sab samay uski cousin ke saath miste hai.

Guru: aap uske doubt karte hai?

Ladka: hu maine karti hu.

Guru: toh thik kia, cousin ke sath milna to doubt ki hi baat hai.



Ladki: wo ekdin mujhe uski flat pe jane ki kehta hai

Guru: keya aap raji  ho gaya?

Ladki:ha, maine sahas kar ke gaya.

Guru: toh thik kia,payar ki tan bol kar ek bat hay.



Ladki: wo ekdin mujhe uski flat pe jane ki kehta hai

Guru: keya aap raji  ho gaya?

Ladki:koi prosno nahi ata

Guru: thik, ajkal desh ki ja obostha. Iss tarah ki ladke ki koi biswas nahi hai.
Phone Joke 
Ladki: wo abhi vi phone karti hai

Guru: ap uski phone dharti hai?

Ladki: nahi.

Guru: thik ki, wo apki saath jo kia uski saaja ye hai.
Funny Ladki Joke 
Ladki: wo abhi vi phone karti hai

Guru: ap uski phone dharti hai?

Ladki: keya karti maine uski phone ane ki bad sab bhul jata hu.

Guru: tab tum thik kia. Payar to iske kehte hai,dilki aarman sunna parega.
Guru Joke 
Ladka: wo sab samay uski cousin ke saath miste hai.

Guru: aap uske doubt karte hai?

Ladka: no no kabhi nahi

Guru: toh thik kia, payar ki bich mein doubt nahi hona parta hai.
Short Hindi Joke 
Ladki der se an ke bad ladka bola
Ajki bikal jara der se suru hua.
Hindi Ladka Ladki Joke 
Ek ladka ek ladki se is tada offer kadti hai

Ladka: I love u I like u I love u very much meri jaan.

Ladki: baatki andar ektu space dena jara.
Economics Joke 
Do ladki aur ek ladka alap kar rahi hai.

1st ladki: Is desh ki economics jhul rahi hai,

2nd ladki: do vag mein vag ho gaya,

Ladka: ko shakt hat mein dharna parega

Joke 
Ladka: meine itni mana karne ki bad vi tum cigerett piti ho?Tum janti nahi hai cigarette
Meri dusman hay.

Ladki:janta hu, iss liey dushman ko pura kar rag kar deti hu.
Funny Ladka Ladki Joke 
Vul number dial karne se:

Ladka:I love you janu.

Ladki ki maa:oh, really.

Ladka: aaj rat a jao na,pls.
Us samay line kat gaya.

Ladki phone kia aur bola hi janu kayse ho?

Ladka: meine jo bat kia to kissee?

I Love You Hindi Joke 
Ladka ek ladki se offer kart waqt

Ladka: I love you.

Ladki: kayse ab soch lia class four ki ek ladki khali hai.
Ladka Ladki Joke 
Ek ladka ko kuch log nangto kia aur uski land ke picture akaye aur bola jao

Uha ek ladki betha hai uski kach se attested karke le ao.

Ladka gaya:pls attested ki dijie.

Ladki: maine original copy ke bina attested nahi karungi.

Ladka Ladki Hindi Joke 
Moti ladki bade mein du ladka bat kar rahi hai

1st ladka:Uski weight key hoga?

2nd ladka: uski ek pas ki weight jodi 24 kg, to uski dono ki weight 48 kg, plus karo skeletan ki weight.

Comedy Hindi Jokes

Man: Bed majbut banana, Mere BETE ko BAHU k sath sona hai.
Mistri: Aisa Majbut Bed banaunga SARA MOHALLA BAHU k sath SOEGA to bhi nahi tutega..!

Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui?
Papa: Bewkuf teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li.


MAA-Beta Apple Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Beta Mengo Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Beta Orange Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai,
Chappal Hi Khayega.


Baith kar apni mehbuba ki zulfo k saye me aisa josh aaya,
wah wah!
Phir..
phir..
Usk Papa ne dekh liya aur I.C.U. me hosh aaya.

Love Aur Arrange Marriage Me Kya Faraq He
Love Marriage Me Aap Apni Girlfriend Se Shadi Karte Hai
Aur
Arrange Marriage Me
Kisi Aur Ki ;-)

Raja or Rani ne fix kiya ki ab baat Mobile se nhi Kabutar se karenge.1 din Rani ne bina khat k kabutar uda diya.Raja bola:
Ye kya?
Rani boli miss call yaar.

Khud ko kar kanjoos itna ki..
har sms bhejne se pehle,
SERVICE CENTER wale khud call kar k puche..
Bata sach me bhejna he ya galti se sent ho gaya tha.
Comedy Hindi Jokes 
Ek murgi market gayi, aur dukaandar se boli, “ek anda dena.”
Dukaandar bola, “sharm nahin aati, murgi hokar anda mangti ho.”
Murgi boli, “mere pati ne kaha hai ki 3 rupyee ke ande ke liye
apna figure kharab mat karo.”



Ek aadmi bhagwaan se bola, “india se usa tak pakki sadak banwa dijiye.”
Bhagwan bole, “mushkil hai kuch aur maang lo.” Aadmi bola,
“To phir aap meri biwi ko samajhdaar aur aagyakari bana dijiye.”
Bhagwan bole, “sadak single banana hai ya double.”


Ek naye teacher ne ek bachche se poocha, “is pakshi ke pair dekho aur iska naam batao.
” Bachche ne kaha, “ pata nahin.” Teacher ne kaha, “ Tum fail ho gaye,batao tumhara naam batao.
” Bachche ne kaha “Mere pair dekho aur naam batao”.


ek baar aadmi ne bhagwan se kaha,
“aapne aurat ko itna sundar kyon banaya hai?”
Bhagwan bole,”taki tum unse pyaar kar sako.”
Aadmi bola, “ to phir unhe itna bevkoof kyon banaya hai?”
bhagwan ne jawab diya, “taki wo tumse pyaar kar sake.”


ek aadmi ke paas uske doctor ka phone aaya.
Docor ne kaha, “Mere pass tumhe sunane ke liye ek achchi khabar hai,
aur ek buri khabar hai.pahle kya sunoge?”
aadmi bola, “pahle mujhe achchi khabar suna do.”
Doctor bola, “good news hai ki tumhe marne me 24 ghante baaki hain.”
Aadmi bola, “oh no, aur buri khabar kya hai?”
Doctor bola,”buri khabar ye hai ki ye khabar sunanae ke liye
main tumhe kal phone karna bhool gaya.”


Chota baby- mummy raat ko jab me susu karne gaya to bathroom
Ki light jal gayi,
Mummy- haramjade tu aaj fir freeze me susu kar aaya…!!


Teacher:-MotorCycle k Kitne Tyers Hote hai?
Smart Santa:- 6 Tyre
Teacher(Gusse se): How?
Santa:- 4 Motor k 2 Cycle k!G.M.


College ke first day; Ladka: Tumhara naam kya hai? Ladki: Mujhe sab didi kehte hai.. Ladka: WOW MUJHE SAB JIJAJI KEHTE HAIN!


Teacher- Bataao bachcho jo galat kaam karte hain wo kaha jate hain??
Student- sharmate huye bola sir..
Manuabhaan tekri, EKAANT park, Chinar park, MAYUR park...
Hindi Jokes 
Mareez:-doctor aap ye phoolo ki mala kyon laaye hain?
Doctor:-ye mera pahla operation hai,agar safal hua to mere liye nahin to tuhare kaam aaegi.



Maalik:-are raamu aaj tumne roti main kitna saare ghee laga diya..
Naukar:-are saahab maaf karna shayad galti se maine apni roti aapko de di hai,



Saahukaar:-tumne apne udhaar ke paise abhi tak nahin wapas kiye…
chalo mamla beech main suljha lete hai…
tumhare udhaar ka aadha paisa main bhoolne ke liye taiyaar hoon..
Karzdaar:-manzoor:-baaki aadha main bhoolne ko taiyaar hoon.


Ek ladka ek ladki ke saath baitha tha,
doosre din doosri ladki ke saath baitha tha,
teesre din teesri ladki ke saath baitha tha…
is kahani se shiksha milti hai:-ladkiyan badal jaati hain,ladke nahin.



Ek aadmi librarian se:-mujhe aatmhatya karni hai.kya aap mujhe aatmhatya per koi achchi book de sakte hain.
Librarian:-nahin bilkul nahin,mujhe pata hai aap mujhe wo wapas nahin denge.



Teacher:-bachcho kabhi sharab mat peena,jhooth mat bolna,kabhi nonveg mat khana,kabhi ladki ko mat chhedna.aur apne desh ke liye jaan de dena.
Ek bachcha:-de denge sir,sala aisi zindagi se to marna achcha hai.



Ek jagah sangeet ki mahfil chal rahi thi.ek gayak ne jaise hi gana gaya ,
sab bole , “once more”.gayak ne gana phir suna diya. Sab log phir se bole ,
“once more”.gayak nephir se ganae suna diya.abki baar phir sab bole ,
“once more”.gayak ne kaha,”mere pyare sunne walo,
main aapka mere liye pyaar samajhta hu,
per meri bhi kuch maryada hai,main itni baar nahin ga sakta.”
Tabhi mahfil main se ek aadmi bola,”jab tak tum thik se nahin gaaoge,
tumko gana padega.”
Comedy Jokes in Hindi 
   teacher:-bahcho aaykar,bikrikar,bhoomikar se milta jolta koi aur shabd batao.
bachcha:-sir ek nahin teen shabd sune hain,sunil gawaskar,sachin tendulkar aur dilip vangaskar.

ek chhota bachcha doosre bachche se:-agar din ko suraj nahin nikala to kya hoga?
doosra bachcha:-bijli ka bill bad jaaega.

    manager ne aanewale se poocha, "kya tumhe pata nahin ki aagya ke bina andar aana mana hai."
aane wala, "janab, main aagya lene ke liye hi andar aaya hoon."

adhyaapak:-bachcho batao ki doodh ko kharab hone se bachane ke liye kya karne chaahiye?
sonu:-ji sir use pi lena chahiye.

Ek aadmi:-kyon bachche yeh gend tumhari hai?
Bachcha:- uncle kya isse koi sheesha toota hai?
Aadmi:-nahin to..
bachcha:- haan to phir meri hai.


   Naukraani:-malkin aap mujh per bekaar hi shak kar rahi hai,main aapko kaise samjhaau mujhe to shabd nahin mil rahe hai.
Malkin:- tujhe shabd nahin mil rahe hain,aur mujhe 1 thaali,5 katori aur 2 drzan chammach nahin mil rahi hai.

Ek padosan Ne Sunita Se Kaha:- are sunita gajab Ho Gaya.dekh to Pados Ki do Auraten teri Saas ki pitaai kar Rahi Hain.
Sunita padosan Ke Sath chat per Aayi Aur chhupkar pitaai Dekhane Lagi. padosan Ne Pucha, Aap Madad Karane Nahi Jayengi ?
Sunita - Nahi nahin do Hi bahot Hain
Hilarious Hindi Jokes 
Teacher:-batao baad aur sukhe main kya fark hai?
Mantra ka beta:- sir zamin aasmaan ka.
Teacher:-batao who kaise?
Mantra ka beta:- sir, sukhe main mere papa jeep se daura karte hain aur baad main helicopter main.


Ek aalsi se uske dost ne kaha:-suna hai tum faoj main bharti hone ja rahe ho.
Aalsi Dost:-are nahin,mujhe to ye bhi nahin pata ki badook ka muh kidhar karna hai?
Pehla dost:-koi baat nahin, kahin bhi rakhoge, desh ka bhala hi hoga.


Do abhinetao ke bachche aapas main baat kar rahe the.
Pahle bachcha:-pata hai,mere papa kal nai mummy laye hain ,wo bahot achchi hai.
Doosra bachcha:- pata hai pata hai, pichle saal who meri mummy reh chuki hain.


Pahli ladki:- maine faisla kiya hai jab tak main 25 saal ki nahin ho jaati main shaadi nahin karungi.
Doosri ladki:-aur maine faisla kiya hai jab tak main shaadi nahin kar leti 25 ki nahin houngi.


Traffic police:tumhara scooter itna uchhal kyon raha hai?
Scooter chaalak:-huzur, scooter nahin uchhal raha hai. Mujhe hichkiyaan aa rahi hain.

Judge:-pichi baar bhi tum 500 rupyee churaane ke ilzaam main pakde gaye the.
Chor:-huzur,500 rupyee s kitne din kaam chalaya ja sakta hai?


Student:-sir, kya aap mujhe us kaam ke liye bhi saza denge jo main nahin kiya hai?
Adhyapak:-nahin nahin,bilkul nahin.
Student:-sir, maine aaj ka homework nahin kiya hai.


Mareez:-doctor ,mujhe ek serious bimari hai,main jo kuch bhi bolta hoon bhool jata hoon.
Doctor:-aapko ye bimaari kab se hai?
Mareez:-kaun si bimaari?


  Ek aurat:-jab tumhara talak hua tha tab to tumhara ek hi bachcha tha.ab 3 kaise?
Doosri:-who kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate the.

Funny Comedy Jokes in Hindi 
Wo konsa 1 mazak he Jo salo pehle b studnts karte the,
aaj b karte hai or qayamat tak karte rahenge
?
?
Bahut masti ho gayi yar
ab Kal Se Seriously Padai karnge


Ek Murgi Market Gayi aur..
Kaha- Ek Anda Dena..
Dukandar-Tum Anday Ka Kya Karogi??
Murgi- Mere Husband Ne Kaha 2Rs. Ke Liye Apna Figure Kharab Mat Karo.


Teacher-tum bde hoker kya karoge
Student-shadi..
Teacher-nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge
Student-dulha..
Teacher-oho,i mean bade hoker kya hasil karoge
student-dulhan!

1 dukhi Aadmi bola-Aisi zindagi se maut achi.
Achnak Yamdut aaya aur bola-"Tumhari jaan lene ka hukm h"
Aadmi-Lo Batao,
Ab Insan Mazak b nahi kar sakta.


PITA:AGAR TU IS BAAR BHI FAIL HO GAYA TO MUJHE PITA MAT KEHNA.
KUCH DIN BAD
PITA:KYA HUA TERE RESULT KA?
SON:SORRY YAAR RAM PRASAD MAI FAIL HO GAYA.
Hindi Funny Comedy Jokes 
Bahut der k baad train chali.Muslim bola_ya Ali ! Hindu bola_ jai bajrang bali.Ek sardar bola_kya Ali,Kya Bali?Ullu k pattho, Train to baju wali Chali

1 shrabi roz SHIV mandir pe sir tekta tha.
1 din pujaari ne SHIV ke jagah GANESH murti rakhi,
Shraabi aya dekha bola- Chhotu papa se bolna main aya tha.


Premika: Aisa Letter Likh Sajna, Meri Umar Beet Jaye Padhne Me....
Premi:(!=!0!>XE~?1!!:E'&A?>#^^E"!$>,'>,'E=*?#:P(+>!*"@&= Le Padhle.....!



A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
isme 1 missing hai
find it...
2 times padhte ho
sharam nahi aati ?
ABCD me 1 kaha aata hai?
Hindi Comedy Jokes 
Old : pehla pehla pyar hai, aayi bahar hai, aaja more sajan tera
Intazar hai.
New : Duja teja pyar hai, dil bekarar hai, aaja mere sajana verna
Chautha taiyaar hai…!


Boy- Bus,train or ladki ek jesi hoti hai,ek jati hai to dusri aa jati hai
Girl- Taxi, Autoriksha or ladke ek jaise hote hai, ek bulao 4 chale
Aate hai..!

Ladka ladki ko dekhne gaya,
unko baat krne k liye akele bitha diya
girl-(darte hue)bhaiya aap kitne bhai-behen ho
Boy-abhi tk to 3 the,ab 4 ho gye.

Hindi Comedy Jokes 
Ladka : jaaneman is dil me chali aao
Ladki : chapal nikali kya?
Ladka : pagli, ye koi mandir nahi hai, aise hi aa jao.



Chayewala – bholi si surat aankho me masti dur khadi sarmaye haye haye!!
Ladki- kali si surat hatho me ketli dur khade chilaye chaye-chaye


Babu apni girlfriend se- darling kal ghar par aa jana koi bhi nahi hoga!
Jab ladki ghar par aati hai to sachmuch koi nahi tha.


Ladka- kya me tumhara hath tham lu?
Ladki – No thanks ! ye itna bhari nahi he!!

Kutte………kaminey………..matlabi………….dhokebaaz……….
Ullu ke pathe………besharam……..baimaan……….kapti………
Aise logo se hamesha door rehna !!


Bilu MC ki hotal me- are bhai kab se wait kar raha hu,
Khana abhi tak nahi aaya?
Mc – sar khana to char din se bana rakha hai bas garam ho raha hai!!

Pitaji:- itne kam no. ? do thapad marne chahiye!
Tinku:- ha papa,chalo maine us mastarji ka ghar dekha hai!!


Teacher – bolo A for Apple ,
Student – A for apple,
Teacher – jor se bolo,
Student – jai mata dee!!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho
He he he he he he he he he he he ……
Kuch nahi bas tumhari sakal yaad aa gayi….
Ha ha ha ha ha!!


Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
A. jab koi ladki shaadi se pehle pregnant ho jaye, aur uski maa
Kahe “hey bhagwan ye tune kya kiya”.


Maine tujhe dekha…dekhta hi gaya…dekhta hi gaya…..
Aur fir…ek din mujhe…
….Chashma…lag gaya!!

TV Vs. Biwi Joke in Hindi

TV Vs. Biwi Joke in Hindi
Jitne channel Tv ke,
Utne nakhre Biwi ke,
Tv chalta hai remote se,
Biwi chalta hai Note se.
Wife Vs. Saali joke in Hindi
What is the difference between wife & saali?
Saali is Beauty,
Wife is duty,
Saali is passion,
Wife is tension,
Saali is patakha,
Wife is sayapa,
Saali is cool,
Wife is fool,
Saali is tuty-fruity,
Wife is qismat futi, Saali is fresh cake,
Wife is earth quake…
Hindi Wife - Begum Joke
Wife ko begum kyon kehte hai?
Ans: Kyonki shadi ke baad sare gum to husband
se hisse mein aate hai,
aur biwi Be-Gum ho jai Hai!!!
Hindi Husband Joke
Different roles of Man in life:
Sagai ke samay superman,
Shadi ke samay Gentleman,
10 saal baad watchman,
20 saal baad Doberman.
Who is Biwi Joke?
Biwi vo hoti hai jo,
Shaadi ke baad apne pati baad apne
pati kisari aadadto
kobadal deti hai,
aur baad me kehti hai ki,
"aap pehle jaise nahi rahe".
Shaadi Hindi Joke
Shadi ke pehle maine pyar kiya.
Shadi ke baad ye maine kya kiya?
Shadi ke pehle Dil to Pagal Hai.
Shadi ke baad dil to pahal tha!
"S" Hindi Joke
Hum ne zindagi ki shuruaaat 'S' se ki.
S se Suraj, S se Subah, S se Swagat, S se saaz, S se Sangeet.
Par Fir 'S' se Samay ne aisi karwat badli Ki 'S' se hamari Shadi ho gai.
Aur fir jeevan ka arth 'S' se Saans,
Sasural, Sala, Sali, Sasur aur 'Sankat' ho gaya.
Super Husband Wife Joke in Hindi
Sagai Hui... Shadi Hui...
Biwi Ghar Mein Aayi...
Ghar Swarg Ban Gaya...
Aur main "Swargwasi"...
Husband Vs. Wife Hindi Joke
Shaadi par wife boli:
Aaap mere prannath aur mein apke charno ki dasi.
Shaadi ke baad woh ho Gaya Charandas aur,
woh ho gayi prano ki pyaasi.
Poor Wife Joke
Wife: Shadi ke pehle to tum mujhe rof gift diya karte they,
ab kyun nahi dete?
Husband: Machhali pakdne ke baad bhi kya koi chara dalta hai!
Pati Patni Joke in Hindi
Patni: Kaash tum aise SMS hote jise
Main Zindagi bhar save karke rakhti!
Pati: Air kaash tum
aisi ringtone hoti jise
main har hafte badal sakta.
Hindi Stupid husband Joke
Wife: Main galti se khane ke saath rumal bhi kha gai
Husband: Konu baat nahi, apna bachcha aayega to "pagdi" pehan ke aayega!
Another Husband Vs. Wife Joke in Hindi
Husband apni Wife se (suhagraat ko):
Darling apna chand sa chehra to dikaho...
Chehra dekte hi husband bola:
Arey tumhare chehre par to kale dhabbe or gadde hai,
tumhare maa baap ne mujhe dhoka diya hai.
Wife: Darlin nayi khojo se chand ka yahi roop samne aaya hai.
Stupid Biwi Joke
Achii aur buri biwi mein kya farq hai?
Answer: Kya matlab?
Biwiyaan achii bhi hoti hai kya?!
Biwi Vs. Sali Joke
Biwi aur saali main kon zyada achi hoti hai?
Answer: Saali behtar hai.
Kaash woh biwi ke bagair mil sakti.
Watch Vs. Wife Joke
Whats the diff btween Watch and Wife?
Ek kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur
doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jati hai
Hindi Joke
Wife: Agar main mar jaun to tum kya karoge?
Husband: Shayad main mar jaunga.
Wife: Kyon?
Husband: Kabhi kabhi zyada kushi janleva hoti hai.
Biwi Hindi Joke
Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha.
Achanak bijli chamki, badal garje,
jor se barish start ho gayi.
Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gay!
Marriage Broker Joke
Marriage Broker: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Man: Mujhe chand jaisi biwi chahiye,
jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
Another Husband and Wife Hindi Joke
Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa.
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji?
Husband: Aise jaise Bhagwan Vishnu shesh naag ki Godh mein lete hon.
Husband, Wife and Beggar Joke
A beggar- ‘Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de..
“Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe
sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai…”

Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi

Santa: pappa agar main exam pass karunga to kya doge?
Pappa: ek cycle dilaadoonga
Santa: agar fail hua to?
Pappa: 10 cycle dilaaunga
Santa: woh kyu?
Pappa: padhaai bandh karke cycle shop khol lo


Santa: navy mein kaam hai. karoge?
Banta: zaroor. kya kaam hai?
Santa: jab ship beech samundar mein ruk jaata hai, to tumhe peeche se use dakhelnaa hai


Police: aapki car ki accident kaise hua?
Santa: woh to mujhe bhi pata nahi hai sir. tab main so rahaa tha?


Santa ne apna cellphone leke dentist ke pass gaya tha. kyu?
kyunki use check karna tha ke uske cell mein bluetooth hai ki nahi.


Doctor: bantaji, khaane baad neend ki goliya lee na aapne.
Banta: uff!! khaane ke baad zor se neend aa raha tha to maine goli lena bhool gaya
Santa Banta Funny Hindi Jokes 
Santa ka ghoda kho gayaa tha aur waha bahut khush tha
Banta: arey, tumhaara ghoda kho gaya hai aur tum khush ho? jyu?
Santa: main is liye khush hoo ke jab vo kho gaya to main uske saath nahi tha. hota to main bhi kho jaata na!!!


Santa ki girlfriend: Ab hame jaldi shaadi kar leni chahiye.
Santa: achcha... lekin hame shaadi karega koun?


pappa: mummy kyu chup baithi hai?
santa: kuch nahi, mummy ne lipstick maangi thi, lekin maine fevistick de diya


Pappa: sunitha ko dekho, 1st class mein pass kee hai.
santa: haa, use dekhtaa rahaa to isiliye main fail ho gaya


Santa: waiter, ek coffee laana. kitna hai?
Waiter: 50 Rs.
Santa: saamnewaali dukhaan main to 50 ps hai
Waiter: woh xerox dukhaan hai sir
Santa Banta Hindi Jokes 
Banta: Santa, itna udhaas kyu baita hai?
Santa: yaar betting mein maine 2000 gavaa diyaa :-(
Banta: kaise?
Santa: India pe 1000 rupaiye ka bet lagaaya tha aur India ne match haar gaya
Banta: lekin 2000 kaise?
Santa: aaj us match ka highlights daale. India pe ummeed rakh ke phir 1000 dala tha.


Beta: Papa, aap engineer kaise bane?
Santa: uske liye bahut dimaag ka zaroorat padta hai.
Beta: haa pata hai, isiliye mujhe samajh mein nahi aa rahaa hai ke aap kaise engineer bane?


Boss: tumhe MS office pata hai?
Santa: agar address denge to main doond looonga sir


Santa: pata hai, bachpan mein mujhe ek bus ne zor se dakka maar diya tha.
Banta: baap re, tu mar gaya ke bach gaya?
Santa: mujhe yaad nahi hai. main tab 4 saal ka tha

Santa: sab log kyu bhaag rahe hai?
Banta: yeh race hai. jo jeetega use prize milega
Santa: agar sirf jeetnewaale ko prize milega to itne log kyu bhaaga rahe hai?

Santa aur Wife Hindi Joke

Santa: tumhaari wife kyu hamesha gussa rahti hai?
Banta: maine galti se use bola tha ki "tum gusse main bhi bahut khoob lagti ho"

Hindi Jokes

Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai?
Student: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD matlab bail gaadi


Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir


Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap?
Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga


1st wife: tumhaara sharaabi pati roz peekar ghar aata hai na. tum poochti kyu nahi ho.
2nd wife: main poochi thi. lekin unhone mujhe diyaa nahi.


Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: wahi mera sabse bada dar hai doctor.


Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai

Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo.
Patient: teek hai doctor
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya?
Patient: nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe
Funny Hindi Jokes 
1st beggar: arey, tum kyu us cinema poster ko aise gur rahe ho?
2nd beggar: main hee is cinema ka producer hoo


Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai.
Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.
Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa


Maalik: arey, tune 500 saal puraani ghadi thod dee hai.
naukar: bach gaya saab, main to samjha yeh nayaa hai


Ramu: Sir, mere ghar mein TV chodke baaki sabki chori hogayi hai?
Police: chor ne sirf TV kisliye chodaa hoga?
Ramu: mujhe kya pataa sir? main us samay TV mein serial dekh rahaa thaa
Jokes in Hindi 
Autowaala: sorry sir, meter daalna bhool gaya.
santa: problem nahi hai. main bhi apna purse bhool aaya. chodo


Car chalaataa huaa Santa ko road mein "ACCIDENT ZONE" ka board dikhaa. isliye santa ne sochaa:
"Yeh log accident zone mein kyu road banaate hai?"


Ek kadvaa sach :-)
Behan ki friend behan ho sakti hai,
Bhai ka friend Bhai ho sakta hai,
lekin wife ka friend wife nahi ban sakti


suma: maa, raju ne mujhe kiss de diyaa
maa: haan kya? rukho main poochti hoo.
suma: nahi maa. tum poochoge to woh nahi degaa


Paagal 1: main Taj Mahal ko kareedh loonga
Paagal 2: main use abhi bhech nahi rahaa hoo


Customer: yeh kya offer hai? TV liya to 10 kerchief free!!!
Salesman: TV serials dekhne ke baad aapki aansoo ponchne ke liye


Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi.
girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?
Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha


Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do
Doctor Patient Hindi Jokes 
Doctor: aapko isse pehle kabhi heart attack hua thaa kya?
Patient: haa doctor, bichle baar jab aap bill diye the

Nurse: udhaas kyu baite ho sir?
Doctor: dopahar jiska operation kiya tha, woh mar gaya.
Nurse: arey woh to post mortem tha.
Doctor: to main subah kiska post mortem kiyaa tha


Patient: Doctor, kya aapko yakeen hai ke mujhe cancer hai. kyunki ek baar kisi doctor ne

cancer ka ilaaj karte the aur patient TB se mar gaya.
Doctor: gabraao nahi... agar main ilaaj karungaa to tum sirf cancer se hi maroge.

Doctor: sharaab peena haanikaarak hai. is vichaar main mujhe aapse baath karni hai.
Patient: theek hai doctor. sham ko moonlight bar mein milenge.


Doctor: aapke pati ko zyaada rest ki zaroorat hai. yeh sleeping tablets leejiye.
Wife: unko yeh kab dena hai doctor?
Doctor: yeh unke liye nahi, aapke liye hai :-)

Doctor: dekhiye, yeh bimaari khaandaani hai. aapke daadaaji se shuru hui hai.
Patient: bach gaya!!! tab aap yeh operation mere daadaaji ko hee keejiye.

Patient: Doctor, meri beti ko aajkal kuch sunaayi nahi deti hai
Doctor: kya? tumhe 5 din se bukhaar hai aur tum abhi aa rahe ho!

Wife: doctor ji, mere pati neend mein baat karna shuru kardiye hai. kya karu?
Doctor: din mein unko baat karne kaa mouka deejiye.


Doctor: roz hotel mein khaane se hee aapko ulcer hui hai?
Patient: to aaj se mein ghar ko parcel leke jaaunga


Patient: doctor, mujhe 3 mahine se khaasi hai.
Doctor: itne din kyu chup the?
Patient: chup kaun tha doctor. main to khaas rahaa tha.


Doctor: operation ke baad ab sab teek hai. tum sab kuch sun sakte ho.
Patient: aapne kuch bola kya?


Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: aap rahenge. lekin main rahoonga kya?

Doctor: tum abhi 2 ganto main mar jaanewaale ho. kya tumhaara koi aakhri khwaaish hai?
Patient: Haanji, ek achche doctor ko consult karna hai
Hilarious Jokes in Hindi 
Public to Santa: us rowdy ke vajah se hum pareshaan hai. use haamare area se bhagaane ka koi tareeka bataao?
Santa: aasaan hai, use election mein khadaa karke MLA banaa do. agle 5 saal tak woh tumhaare area ki taraf nahi aayega.


Ramu: tum kaunsi soap use karte ho?
Banta: Main Santa Soap, Santa Paste aur Santa Shampoo use karta hoo
Ramu: wo kya international brand hai kya?
Banta: nahi, santa mera room mate hai.


Santa: tumhaara beta bilkul tumhaara jaisa hi dikhtaa hai.
Banta: dheere se bol... woh padosi ka beta hai

Santa: agar electricity nahi hota to kya hota?
Banta: raat mein candle light mein TV dekhna padta tha


Driver: Poora petrol khatam ho gayi hai. ab aage nahi bad sakte.
Santa: teek hai, gaadi reverse lo aur ghar vaapas chalo


Santa: Tumhe kyu arrest kiya gayaa hai?
banta: maine 50 rupaye ka chillar diya. isliye.
santa: usme kya galti hai?
banta: maine chillar mein do 25 rupaye ka note diyaa tha :-)


Santa: "impossible" shabd mere dictionary mein nahi hai
Banta: arey yaar, ab bataake kyaa faayda. dictionary lete samay check karlenaa thaa na


Examiner santa se: yeh kya hai? tumne khaali paper kyu diye ho?
Santa: kyunki neatness ke liye 5 marks hai, isliye


Santa: maine apni shaadi kaa aamantran patra bejaa thaa na? kyu nahi aaya?
Banta: lekin mujhe koi patra nahi milaa
Santa: arey yaar, maine usme likha thaa na. patra nahi milaa to bhi, zaroor aane ke liye!!!


Santa: bhaisaab, yahaa se mumbai kitna door hai?
Vyakti: 400 km.
Santa: baap re, mujhe aaj hi vaapas lautnaa hai. mumbai se yahaa tak kitnaa door hai?
Pati Patni Hindi Jokes 
Patni: swamiji ne kahaa ke swarg mein pati patni ko saath rehne nahi dete hai
Pati: isiliye usae swarg kehete hai :-)

1st Man: shaadi ke baad main lakhpati ban gaya.
2nd Man: use kyu itnaa udhaas bol rahe ho?
1st Man: usse pehle mein crorepati tha


Pati: aaj sunday hai aur aish karna. movie ke liye 3 ticket laayaa hoon.
Patni: teen kyu?
Pati: tumhe aur tumhaare maata pitaa ke liye.


Patni: agar main mar jaaungi, to aap royenge kya?
Pati: ab kya has rahaa hoo kya?


Patni: dekhoji, hamaare shantabai ki pati, usko khush rakhne ke liye, har hafte movie pe le jaate hai. aap kyu nahi karte ho aise?
Pati: arey, maine bhi shantabai ko movie ke liye bulaaya. lekin usne manaa kardi. isme meri kya galti hai?
Husband and Wife Hindi Jokes 
Wife: jab aap chashma utaarte ho, bahut handsome dikte ho.
Husband: haa dear, jab main chashma utaarta hoo, tum bhi bahut khoobsoorat dikti ho


Wife: suniye, hum is hafte poora cinema dekhenge, agle hafte poora shopping karenge.
Husband: uske baad ke hafte poora mandir jaayenge
Wife: kyu?
Husband: bheek maangne ke liye


Husband: agar operation mein mujhe kuch hua to tum us doctor se hi shaadi kar lena.
Wife: aise kyu bol rahe ho?
Husband: usse badla lene ka doosra tareeka nahi hai.

Wife: aji, koi peeche mere pair choo rahaa hai.
Husband: peeche mud ke apna chehra dikha, woh choonaa bandh kar dega


Wife: aapse milne doctorji aaye hai
Husband: mujhe bukhaar hai. unhe kal aane ke liye bolo

Husband: tum khaana bahut achchi banaati ho
Wife: tum jitna bhi maska lagaao, khaana tumhe hee banaanaa padega
School Jokes in Hindi 
Teacher: agar shabd pradooshan kam karna hai to kya karna hai?
Student: hamaare kaan bandh kar leni hai.

Teacher: varthamaan, bhoot aur bhavishyat kaal ke udhaaharan do
Student: Madam, kal maine aapki beti ko dekha, aaj main usse pyar kar rahaa hoo aur kal usse shaadi karungaa.
Teacher Student School Hindi Jokes 
Principal: class ko der kyu pahunche?
Student: sir, gaadi puncture ho gaya tha
Principal: to tumhe bus mein aana tha
Student: socha tha sir, lekin aapki beti sunti hi nahi ha


Anpad baap: jaise bhi ho, 4 saal ka apna padaai pooraa kardiye. aage kya karoge?
Beta: ji, arrears naam ka ek course hai, use pooraa karna hai.


Teacher: tumhaare aur harish ka answers ek jaise hai. woh kaise?
Student: kyunki question ek hi tha na masterji, isliye :-)


Teacher: Tumhaara Maa kaa naam kya hai?
LKG student: Mummy


Teacher: 5 mark lekar bhi tum has kyu rahe ho?
Student: main yeh soch raha hoo ke woh 5 marks kaise mila :-)


Teacher: agar aise hee padte rahoge, zindagi mein kuch nahi banoge.
Student: jab zindagi mein kuch nahi banunga, tab main bhi ek teacher ban jaaunga sir.


Teacher: jisko kaan sunaayi nahi deta hai, aap use kya bulaate hai?
Santa: kuch bhi bulaa sakte hai. kyunki use sunaayi nahi detaa hai na.


Teacher: duniya ke sabse puraana praani kaunsi hai?
Student: zebra hai sir
Teacher: kaise:
Student: kyunki, woh black and white hai na


Teacher: tumhaara homework kyu tumhaare pitaa ke handwriting main hai?
Student: maine unka pen use kiyaa thaa sir


Teacher: bachcho, agar man se praarthanaa kare to bhagwan aapki kwaaish poora karenge.
Student: woh sab jhoot hai sir.
Teacher: kyu?
Student: agar woh sach hota to, ab tak aap doosre school chale jaate


Teacher: jeene ke liye Oxygen zaroori hai. ise 1773 mein aavishkaar kiye.
Pappu: baap re bach gaya!! agar usse pehle paida hota to main mar jaata


Teacher: Akbar kaun tha?
Student: pata nahi sir.
Teacher: padaai ke taraf dyaan do, pataa chalegaa
Student: Aap battayiye. Suresh kaun hai?
Teacher: pata nahi.
Student: apni beti ki taraf dyaan dijiye, pata chalega.


Teacher: 4+3=7 aur 5+4=9, ab tum bataao 45+5 kitna hua?
Student: Kya sir? aasaan sawaalo ka jaavaab aap de diye aur mushkil savaal mujhse kar rahe ho
Jokes in Hindi 
Santa: main shaadi karke khush rahna chaahtaa hoo.
Banta: arey yaar, mazaak mat karo. hasne ki mood nahi hai.


Santa apne bete ko: is baar agar exam mein fail huaa, to mujhe pitaji mat bulaana.
kuch din ke baad,
Santa: result ka kya hua?
Santa ka beta: sorry santa


Santa: main england jaane ke baare mein soch rahaa hoon.
Banta: bahut paise kharch hoga na.
Santa: nahi banta, sochne ke liye paise kyu?


Santa aur banta ko 500 ka ek note milaa.
Santa: hum ise 50-50 karlenge
Banta: baaki 400 kaa kya karoge?


Santa: kahaa gayaa thaa yaar?
Banta: girlfriend ke saath movie dekhne
Santa: kitna kharchaa huaa?
Banta: 500 Rs
Santa: itnaa huaa kya?
Banta: kya karu? uske paas itnaa hee thaa yaar



Santa: kelaa kitna hai?
Dukaanwala: 1 Rupay
Santa: 60 paise mein doge kya?
Dukaanwala: itne me to sirf kele kaa chilkaa hi milegaa
Santa: to 40 paise leke sirf kelaa dedo


Santa: padosi se hatouda maang leke aanaa zara
Banta: maangaa thaa, lekin nahi diye
Santa: log bahut laalchi bangaye hai. chalo, hamaara hatouda leke aao jaldi


Santa: police ne tumhe kyu arrest kiya?
Banta: maine purse se paise nikhaal ke kharchaa kar diyaa thaa
Santa: baap re!! is liye bhi arrest karte hai kya?
Banta: purse kisi aur kaa thaa yaar
Funniest Hindi Jokes 
Santa: mera beta meri baat sunta hi nahi hai
Banta: kyu? itna gamandi hai kya?
Santa: nahi. woh behara hai


Santa: tumne us aadmi ko aisa kyu maara?
Banta: usne mujhe poocha ke "Khaana khaaye kya"?
Santa: arey, bhala hi poocha hai na. phir kyu maara?
Banta: main toilet mein baita tha


Santa: mera beta raat bhar book ke saamne hee baita rahta hai.
Banta: lekin phir bhi woh fail kyu huaa?
Santa: wah book 'facebook' tha, isliye


Santa: main apni wife ko bahut pyar karta hoo. tum?
Banta: woh to tumhaari wife hai. main kaise pyar kar sakta hoo?


santa ka beta: Sirji, jab aap paath padaate ho, to mujhe mere pitaa ki yaad aati hai.
Sirji: achchi baath hai. kisliye unki yaad aati hai?
santa ka beta: unko bhi aap hi ke jaise padaana nahi aata hai.


Santa nurse se bola: aapne mera dil churaa liyaa hai.
Nurse: hmmm... maine dil churaane se pehle doctor ne aapka kidney churaa liyaa hai



Santa: shaadi ke baad tumhaari jimmedaari badgayee hai kya?
Banta: haan yaar. pehle sirf mere liye khaana pakaana tha. ab mere biwi ke liye bhi pakaanaa pad rahaa hai.

Vaibhav Rathore

My Friend Vaibhav Rathore Sitamau